He's There fans, like "Erik", seem to sneak up on me out of nowhere. I could just be minding my own business and then see that someone has favorite-attacked me on DA, and they usually want to know if I'm ever writing it again (as most can see, quite clearly, that it is unfinished.) Although I did have an interesting experience once where someone thought chapter 39 was the end and were willing to "respect how I chose to end it with so many unanswered questions." Oh, what an interesting prospect. lol
No, but anyway... This summer I had plans to get back to writing it but now it seems like, when I do, I'm jumping into the past. It used to just be "my project", the one and only. CP2 was not even finished (and I hardly cared), CP3 didn't exist yet or was in its infancy... Nosferatu in Love, what in the fuck was that? But it has been around so long and side-glanced at my other projects, perhaps with some frustration, that now it has a carved place in my mind in terms of its context.
When I write it or even think about writing it, I imagine it's 2007, and I'm sitting in my room, with nothing else to do but wait for my first day of college, nervous to take the public bus and hoping classes aren't too hard. I've got candles burning, Florasense's "Rain Forest", and Celestial Seasoning's "Tension-Tamer" chamomile, mint, and lavender tea. The smells are everywhere and I am absolutely nuts about Phantom. I can't imagine why I thought the story was hopeless.
When I write it, I imagine it's 2008 again, and I'm sitting in my black coat on the driveway, drinking pomegranate tea and trying to retain the feeling in my fingers, because it's November and no sane person ought to be outside at night in November. I can hear the hum of my first laptop that I used when Hermy the 2nd was in the shop. I was writing "my novel"; it was going to be big; my biggest accomplishment.
When I write it, I imagine it's 2009 again, and I've taken an inexcusably long break because I got obsessed with Adventures in Wonderland, but I've come back for NaNoWriMo and I've fallen in love with Charles Dance and Robert Englund. I feel flushed with creative energy, I feel dark and brooding, and interesting now that I have my driver's license, but the roads are slippery from snow, so I'm nervous, too. I'm listening to "Lucifer's Angel" every time I walk to class and jotting ideas for the next chapter in my notes.
Also, when I write it, I imagine 2010 and sweltering heat. I'm stuck in my car at the park because my dad made home so unbearable, but I'm determined to write chapter 37. It's a heavy chapter, and I want to know what people think about it. Even though I want to write HT and escape my life, I'm finding escapism hard; I'm worried if I'm not alert that something will happen out of nowhere. But then, later that year, it's Autumn again and my parents have split up. Despite how distracted I was during Summer, I find it even harder to concentrate in our silent living room, in the dark, with my giant cup of chamomile tea, waiting for Mom to get home. I utterly failed at NaNoWriMo, but I got into the musical a lot and couldn't stop going to youtube.
And, of course, I imagine 2011, when I'm shoving my futon into the bathroom and writing there, hoping it will give me some peace from my horrid roommate who is never quiet. I'm getting in the mood and writing excellent chapters. I seem to see the story in a new way. Things happened I would've never dared let happen earlier. I had just spent a lovely Halloween as the Phantom, it was one of the prettiest Autumns I'd ever seen, and my German Cinema class was showing me an entirely new world, of magic.
Most, perhaps excluding just one, of these memories are during Autumn, and that is really the fuel of He's There, I've realized. I know it's my favorite season, but I couldn't tell you why it matters so much to that story, but I'll guess. I started it in September (Autumn), in HT's world, the story begins in October (Autumn) and one of Lily's first important events is Halloween, the past three years I've tried to further its completion with NaNoWriMo in November (Autumn). Really, whether I like it or not, everything seems to be born again for me in September - it's like the beginning of my own year. HT always seems to come back like a phoenix from the ashes, though I wish I could figure out why the rest of the year fucks up my plans as much as it does. I can't even imagine an Autumn in the past four years that I wasn't at least worrying what I was going to do about that story, and it'll happen again in a few months, if I haven't already gotten back to work on it.
One thing is for certain, though - even if it makes me feel nostalgic, there is little else that feels like it does when I step into that place again, in Lily's school, in the theater, etc etc... They're waiting for me to unravel the mess surrounding them, but I think even I will be surprised when that happens.
Long post is long?
G'morning, Monday. May you pass quickly.
♥, J
No, but anyway... This summer I had plans to get back to writing it but now it seems like, when I do, I'm jumping into the past. It used to just be "my project", the one and only. CP2 was not even finished (and I hardly cared), CP3 didn't exist yet or was in its infancy... Nosferatu in Love, what in the fuck was that? But it has been around so long and side-glanced at my other projects, perhaps with some frustration, that now it has a carved place in my mind in terms of its context.
When I write it or even think about writing it, I imagine it's 2007, and I'm sitting in my room, with nothing else to do but wait for my first day of college, nervous to take the public bus and hoping classes aren't too hard. I've got candles burning, Florasense's "Rain Forest", and Celestial Seasoning's "Tension-Tamer" chamomile, mint, and lavender tea. The smells are everywhere and I am absolutely nuts about Phantom. I can't imagine why I thought the story was hopeless.
When I write it, I imagine it's 2008 again, and I'm sitting in my black coat on the driveway, drinking pomegranate tea and trying to retain the feeling in my fingers, because it's November and no sane person ought to be outside at night in November. I can hear the hum of my first laptop that I used when Hermy the 2nd was in the shop. I was writing "my novel"; it was going to be big; my biggest accomplishment.
When I write it, I imagine it's 2009 again, and I've taken an inexcusably long break because I got obsessed with Adventures in Wonderland, but I've come back for NaNoWriMo and I've fallen in love with Charles Dance and Robert Englund. I feel flushed with creative energy, I feel dark and brooding, and interesting now that I have my driver's license, but the roads are slippery from snow, so I'm nervous, too. I'm listening to "Lucifer's Angel" every time I walk to class and jotting ideas for the next chapter in my notes.
Also, when I write it, I imagine 2010 and sweltering heat. I'm stuck in my car at the park because my dad made home so unbearable, but I'm determined to write chapter 37. It's a heavy chapter, and I want to know what people think about it. Even though I want to write HT and escape my life, I'm finding escapism hard; I'm worried if I'm not alert that something will happen out of nowhere. But then, later that year, it's Autumn again and my parents have split up. Despite how distracted I was during Summer, I find it even harder to concentrate in our silent living room, in the dark, with my giant cup of chamomile tea, waiting for Mom to get home. I utterly failed at NaNoWriMo, but I got into the musical a lot and couldn't stop going to youtube.
And, of course, I imagine 2011, when I'm shoving my futon into the bathroom and writing there, hoping it will give me some peace from my horrid roommate who is never quiet. I'm getting in the mood and writing excellent chapters. I seem to see the story in a new way. Things happened I would've never dared let happen earlier. I had just spent a lovely Halloween as the Phantom, it was one of the prettiest Autumns I'd ever seen, and my German Cinema class was showing me an entirely new world, of magic.
Most, perhaps excluding just one, of these memories are during Autumn, and that is really the fuel of He's There, I've realized. I know it's my favorite season, but I couldn't tell you why it matters so much to that story, but I'll guess. I started it in September (Autumn), in HT's world, the story begins in October (Autumn) and one of Lily's first important events is Halloween, the past three years I've tried to further its completion with NaNoWriMo in November (Autumn). Really, whether I like it or not, everything seems to be born again for me in September - it's like the beginning of my own year. HT always seems to come back like a phoenix from the ashes, though I wish I could figure out why the rest of the year fucks up my plans as much as it does. I can't even imagine an Autumn in the past four years that I wasn't at least worrying what I was going to do about that story, and it'll happen again in a few months, if I haven't already gotten back to work on it.
One thing is for certain, though - even if it makes me feel nostalgic, there is little else that feels like it does when I step into that place again, in Lily's school, in the theater, etc etc... They're waiting for me to unravel the mess surrounding them, but I think even I will be surprised when that happens.
Long post is long?
G'morning, Monday. May you pass quickly.
♥, J
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