Heh, the thought almost arose to start this post with a survey but then I remembered I still don't have hardly any friends at Dreamwidth, so who would be reading it who needed any introduction? I'm boring af anyway, that's probably why I can't make friends. hahahaha
Other boring news:
I slept in until almost 1pm today. I feel like I've been at work for the past century. The truth is I've just had eight shifts in the past nine days, but the place is so unappealing it feels like a century. I tried to remember it was for a good cause: I have Ana all trained now. That's her name: Ana, the girl who's taking over some of my position! She's Tamara's daughter, actually -- I don't know what brought her to New Seasons but I imagine some amount of desperation. She's very quiet but secretly a big dork about all the things I'm a big dork about. I can tell that as time goes on we will probably get a higher dose of her personality and that we will like her and want her to stick around.
So JFC if I can just get through a few more days of schedule fuckery it will all be the way that I asked for, consistently, from now on. 4 days working, 3 days off. My art portfolio website is 90% finished, I just need to fix a couple things and make business cards, then distribute a few to people who already want commissions. (There are three now!)
I see a bit of relief around the corner, but it seems like my life is still going to be in purgatory for a while. There's a list of things I need to get done on my teeth. I'm worried about my health. It's disturbing to me that I've lost so much hair and that this could have been going on a while and it just wasn't obvious until now. The doc isn't treating it like it's a big deal and had vague advice, so I feel helpless and confused. I'm trying to alter my diet and take some biotin supplements but it might be that I do this for a couple months and still don't see any results: hair growing in, weight gain, more energy if I'm lucky. At the back of my mind I wonder if at 29 years old I have inherited lupus from my father, since hair loss is a common first symptom, but I've already had my blood drawn twice in the past month and want to give my poor arm a break from tests. That is terrifying, but it's more likely and also horrible if I'm just malnourished because of how complicated my IBS makes it for me to eat what my body needs. Also horrible, if all the hair dying is the culprit, because I don't want to go back to being a brunette, but in all likelihood I will cancel my next appointment because of how great my fear is that I will lose even more hair.
Fuck, this is so scary and weird.
All my life I've had a Hermione-esque tent of hair that made my arms hurt to brush into a ponytail. That's the problem I'd rather have: not this.
Thank goodness for HT. Working on it was just what I thought it would be: an escape from all of the crap summer has brought. When I work on it, plot it, write it, draw for it, I forget what a pathetic state my life and body are in.
That's probably what writing was all about for me anyway, and why it's such a big deal to imagine these people. They give me a break from thinking about myself.
:P
P.S. I'm like ashamed to cosplay Kurama anymore and feel like giving up. He has luscious red hair flipping and curling everywhere. That used to be me: I had utmost confidence that could be me, but now I look like if Kurama was a flower that was never watered, all drooped and dry. My sorta frenemy on Japanese twitter is beloved for her Kurama, anyway, and always posts prettier pictures, and has a cosplay partner doing Yusuke, who she ships Kurama with, so they're off having a grand time doing video posts and having their love and time put in acknowledged. There comes a time you have to admit you were never going to be lucky enough, good enough, to have all that. I'm tired of being jealous of her, so I'd just rather not compete, even if it's secret competing. I'm gross and dying: I should just go back to being Orlok.
Other boring news:
I slept in until almost 1pm today. I feel like I've been at work for the past century. The truth is I've just had eight shifts in the past nine days, but the place is so unappealing it feels like a century. I tried to remember it was for a good cause: I have Ana all trained now. That's her name: Ana, the girl who's taking over some of my position! She's Tamara's daughter, actually -- I don't know what brought her to New Seasons but I imagine some amount of desperation. She's very quiet but secretly a big dork about all the things I'm a big dork about. I can tell that as time goes on we will probably get a higher dose of her personality and that we will like her and want her to stick around.
So JFC if I can just get through a few more days of schedule fuckery it will all be the way that I asked for, consistently, from now on. 4 days working, 3 days off. My art portfolio website is 90% finished, I just need to fix a couple things and make business cards, then distribute a few to people who already want commissions. (There are three now!)
I see a bit of relief around the corner, but it seems like my life is still going to be in purgatory for a while. There's a list of things I need to get done on my teeth. I'm worried about my health. It's disturbing to me that I've lost so much hair and that this could have been going on a while and it just wasn't obvious until now. The doc isn't treating it like it's a big deal and had vague advice, so I feel helpless and confused. I'm trying to alter my diet and take some biotin supplements but it might be that I do this for a couple months and still don't see any results: hair growing in, weight gain, more energy if I'm lucky. At the back of my mind I wonder if at 29 years old I have inherited lupus from my father, since hair loss is a common first symptom, but I've already had my blood drawn twice in the past month and want to give my poor arm a break from tests. That is terrifying, but it's more likely and also horrible if I'm just malnourished because of how complicated my IBS makes it for me to eat what my body needs. Also horrible, if all the hair dying is the culprit, because I don't want to go back to being a brunette, but in all likelihood I will cancel my next appointment because of how great my fear is that I will lose even more hair.
Fuck, this is so scary and weird.
All my life I've had a Hermione-esque tent of hair that made my arms hurt to brush into a ponytail. That's the problem I'd rather have: not this.
Thank goodness for HT. Working on it was just what I thought it would be: an escape from all of the crap summer has brought. When I work on it, plot it, write it, draw for it, I forget what a pathetic state my life and body are in.
That's probably what writing was all about for me anyway, and why it's such a big deal to imagine these people. They give me a break from thinking about myself.
:P
P.S. I'm like ashamed to cosplay Kurama anymore and feel like giving up. He has luscious red hair flipping and curling everywhere. That used to be me: I had utmost confidence that could be me, but now I look like if Kurama was a flower that was never watered, all drooped and dry. My sorta frenemy on Japanese twitter is beloved for her Kurama, anyway, and always posts prettier pictures, and has a cosplay partner doing Yusuke, who she ships Kurama with, so they're off having a grand time doing video posts and having their love and time put in acknowledged. There comes a time you have to admit you were never going to be lucky enough, good enough, to have all that. I'm tired of being jealous of her, so I'd just rather not compete, even if it's secret competing. I'm gross and dying: I should just go back to being Orlok.
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