Well, it's August of 2019, the dark before the dawn.
I've already mentioned that this summer has been very mild, but I'm still looking forward to the Fall, and all the new kinds of inspiration that the season will bring. As far as He's There is concerned, I was wanting to do a photoshoot of the path Lily takes through the colorful foliage, where she finds "Erik"'s first notes tied to a tree branch. And also perfect his handwriting so I can fudge his notes and take some artsy sort of photos of them. One part crafting, one part photography -- both avenues of creativity I don't usually take. Jesse said he would help -- I mean just in general his and my heads are spinning over what we want to do together. We're ready to raid all the Halloween stores and get high off pumpkin spice candles and maybe try to shoot some creepy videos. He had an idea he was telling me about a few weeks ago.
We also cannot decide for the life of us what we're doing for Halloween. We are both people who have gone all out with our costumes before, so we must live up to everybody's expectations. It's just the things that seem most appealing to one are things that the other is lukewarm about. I'm getting the sense he particularly wants to try Count Orlok, and has for a while, and he asked me to be Ellen, and I was like... well... I've closet-cosplayed her before. She's alright. But, Jesse, you do understand how weird it would be for you to be Orlok and me to, well, not be Orlok but be standing right next to you. lmao He also thought I would be an adorable Harley Quinn but I'm not really drawn to cute-sexy costumes, even though I think he could be a realllly hot Joker...
Generally, when I wear a costume, it's one that allows me to break free of the expectations that come with being female, so I can be attractive in other ways, ways that men get to be attractive. They have a lot more options, and I feel a lot more freedom. Living as a woman is... just downright annoying sometimes, and my costumes are a little break from that. Jesse doesn't entirely wrap his head around this because he has never been a woman. lol He loves my costumes, though. It's just he also thinks I'm hot and wants his hot girlfriend being hot on his arm - I get it I get it. It's not like my ideas aren't putting him in the "hot boyfriend on my arm" position. I wanted him to be Gomez Addams. hahahaha To which he responded "ah."
On the subject of costumes and cosplay...
Man, do I lament that my wallet was hit so hard this past year.
+ My work informed me I didn't have dental insurance and couldn't apply a couple months early, so I spend $1700 on a root canal.
+ My Airbnb in Japan cost $1000, round trip plane tickets $700, general spending while I was there $500.
+ It also cost $1700 to get a new generator among other things for my car.
(Some of this, my mother paid for, with the expectation of me paying her back. Hell no, I was not sitting on over $5,000 in my bank account.)
It was already looking bad, but the car needing fixed is what really had me concerned and sad, that I would be making such competitive rates where I work and still hardly be able to save back up. Doing the math, I realize that I've been spending a bit more than I make each month. So my cosplay is on the back-burner, I haven't gotten my hair done, and sometimes I'm guilty just for buying food. (Looking at the receipt, I'm just like WHY were my groceries so much...?! This isn't even a lot of stuff!)
The bottom line: it costs money, sometimes, to be creative! And nobody is commissioning me. I did order business cards, though! Will post pictures when they arrive.
Hm... anything else I failed to bitch about? Plotting for HT is taking a long while. *nods*
-J
I've already mentioned that this summer has been very mild, but I'm still looking forward to the Fall, and all the new kinds of inspiration that the season will bring. As far as He's There is concerned, I was wanting to do a photoshoot of the path Lily takes through the colorful foliage, where she finds "Erik"'s first notes tied to a tree branch. And also perfect his handwriting so I can fudge his notes and take some artsy sort of photos of them. One part crafting, one part photography -- both avenues of creativity I don't usually take. Jesse said he would help -- I mean just in general his and my heads are spinning over what we want to do together. We're ready to raid all the Halloween stores and get high off pumpkin spice candles and maybe try to shoot some creepy videos. He had an idea he was telling me about a few weeks ago.
We also cannot decide for the life of us what we're doing for Halloween. We are both people who have gone all out with our costumes before, so we must live up to everybody's expectations. It's just the things that seem most appealing to one are things that the other is lukewarm about. I'm getting the sense he particularly wants to try Count Orlok, and has for a while, and he asked me to be Ellen, and I was like... well... I've closet-cosplayed her before. She's alright. But, Jesse, you do understand how weird it would be for you to be Orlok and me to, well, not be Orlok but be standing right next to you. lmao He also thought I would be an adorable Harley Quinn but I'm not really drawn to cute-sexy costumes, even though I think he could be a realllly hot Joker...
Generally, when I wear a costume, it's one that allows me to break free of the expectations that come with being female, so I can be attractive in other ways, ways that men get to be attractive. They have a lot more options, and I feel a lot more freedom. Living as a woman is... just downright annoying sometimes, and my costumes are a little break from that. Jesse doesn't entirely wrap his head around this because he has never been a woman. lol He loves my costumes, though. It's just he also thinks I'm hot and wants his hot girlfriend being hot on his arm - I get it I get it. It's not like my ideas aren't putting him in the "hot boyfriend on my arm" position. I wanted him to be Gomez Addams. hahahaha To which he responded "ah."
On the subject of costumes and cosplay...
Man, do I lament that my wallet was hit so hard this past year.
+ My work informed me I didn't have dental insurance and couldn't apply a couple months early, so I spend $1700 on a root canal.
+ My Airbnb in Japan cost $1000, round trip plane tickets $700, general spending while I was there $500.
+ It also cost $1700 to get a new generator among other things for my car.
(Some of this, my mother paid for, with the expectation of me paying her back. Hell no, I was not sitting on over $5,000 in my bank account.)
It was already looking bad, but the car needing fixed is what really had me concerned and sad, that I would be making such competitive rates where I work and still hardly be able to save back up. Doing the math, I realize that I've been spending a bit more than I make each month. So my cosplay is on the back-burner, I haven't gotten my hair done, and sometimes I'm guilty just for buying food. (Looking at the receipt, I'm just like WHY were my groceries so much...?! This isn't even a lot of stuff!)
The bottom line: it costs money, sometimes, to be creative! And nobody is commissioning me. I did order business cards, though! Will post pictures when they arrive.
Hm... anything else I failed to bitch about? Plotting for HT is taking a long while. *nods*
-J
Current Mood: 
mellow
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