Me and takamo have been on-and-off rping sometimes during the morning. She considers it kind of therapeutic and wanted to be the Joker lately (although more like all the time, she loves him ♥ XD) and I was all like "HEY I'LL BE HATTER AND HARE". I actually really liked writing it, even though we had no idea which direction it was going in... hope to continue soon.... :3

I tried to distinguish who it was by having a paragraph break and space between characters... hopefully it's clear who's speaking/acting.




He stared around, for a moment before walking down the winding path. He had already come across a pair of fat twins; and a the most interesting cat. Unfortunately, he had never trusted the cat, and so, he found himself lost. He turned a corner and stopped, coming across what looked like a very lonely dinner setting. Dark brown-green eyes quickly glanced around from black encased flesh. ...He HAD to get outta here.

Hare was lounging over his favorite fuscia loveseat watching Desperate Houswives when the telephone started to ring. He sighed heavily and pressed pause on his tivo, then shuffled across the cushions for the portable sitting on the end table. It was Hatter, who informed him that he looked out his bedroom window and saw some figure outside the tea party fence.

"Maybe it's Rabbit? The Queen could have sent him out on some absurd chore."

Hatter explained that Rabbit had a very distinct shape and this particular shape in his yard just didn't match up. Hare frowned.

"I'll come on over."


The figure had a painted face. White with blackened eyes and a garish, englongated red smile, even when it was frowning. It's hair was blondish-green, and he wore an odd array of a purple suit, clashing patterned tie, a vest underneath and an oddly patterend blue button-up shirt. His shoes were worn, to say the least; stitched in all sorts and on his hands, he wore purple leather gloves; darker than the suit. His posture wasn't the greatest; slunched over in what could easily be described as agitation or anger. He wandered over to the table and prodded it, peering at it closely; chewing on his inner cheek. "...Where am I?" His voice wasn't native to anywhere, really, but definitely distinctive.

When Hare arrived somewhere nearby on his bicycle, he immediately caught the shadow coming nearer and nearer to Hatter's porch. He clutched the handles, unsure of his manliness. However, when he did it, he also honked his little red horn. Both hands shot to his mouth. The shadow seemed to twitch; having heard of the honk.

An odd sound was heard, as if the shadow was talking to itself..but how? Shadows couldn't talk, could they? The lack of light seemed to increase, as it neared the bicycle and it's owner. "...honnnkk.-uhh... Honk-honk.. ... oh that's funny..."

"o_o"

Soon, the figure rounded the corner and stood upright, blinking at Hare. "That's it.. I need an uppage on my Lithiumm...."

Hare was frozen by the bicycle, hands stuck to the handles like a tongue on an ice cube. "H-hello. Y-you're not Hatter's nearby neighbor are you? Because if you are, I for one apologize for our rowdy behavior...I-in fact, none of it was Hatter's idea to begin with, so if you were going to talk to him about it, well-" He continued to ramble.

"Why apologize? Rowdy behav-i-our is.... some of the best." The voice slithered along like a serpent, much like his tongue as it snuck out in its habitual twitch. The eyes off the individual glanced at Hare from eartip to toe, then settled on his glasses. A hand contoured into a fist and let loose before he gave the Wonderland resident a sidelong look. "...I'm not, ah...in Gothan anymore. " It wasn't so much of a question, as a statement."

"...Gotham?" Hare questioned. He hadn't heard the word before, if it even was a place, which apparently it was. "Well... no... but you are in Wonderland." He laughed nervously, although he appeared to be clutching the bike like it was his body guard. "And if you didn't know this was Wonderland, then I... guess you must be lost."

He nodded a bit, glancing back at the loonnngg table behind him. "Yesyesss.... It's good to be lost once in a bit. Adds a bit of fear for both..." He glances back and squints at Hare before approaching. '.. Bunny."

Hare suddenly looked taken aback, the initial fear draining fast. "Bunny? Oho no, I'm a hare."

"Diff-erent species, same look-uh, but with glasses and Bugs Bunny-but-brown." There was that tongue again, and he was advancing still. He had slouched slightly again, and had begun to.. circle the poor Wonderland resident.

Hare followed him a bit madly with his eyes. He was offended but didn't know how to fight for his cause. As the man with painted face circled him and his bike, he could feel the weight of his blue Motorola in his suit pocket, although he knew that if Hatter had any decency at all, he would come out with knowledge that he had reached the fence with the suspicious shadow. Still, all he wanted to do was call him to make sure. Either that or grab him by the arm... That was always nice in stressful situations. Or even when he wasn't stressed. Nevermind.

A head tilt, and a smile grew. So large that it seemed to go half-way up his face, or was that due to the scarring? That smile, everlasting and those dark eyes, ever twinkling with...something akin to cunning and brilliance. A hum seemed to surge about the man in the purple suit and mismatched clothes. He was directly behind Hare, now, glancing up and down as though he were some new....thing. Discovery; toy..

Hare knew he was a toy in the bed... for Hatter had told him a million times, but in a playful manner. Not in a "I'm thinking about biting those ears off like Ozzy Osbourne did to bats" sort of way. Hare recollected himself and let the phone be.

It was as if he were reading Hare's thoughts, for a leather gloved hand reached up and held one of the ears, carressing it almost with a tentative hand, his foot tapping. It was as though he needed to be moving at all times. A tick here, a murmur there, an outburst of a keening high-pitched laugh or giggle. "Lewis would be rollllllinngggg....."

Hare instinctily coiled with touch to his ears and sort of jabbed the smiling fellow in the side. They were a very sensitive spot, most people should have realized. It was as assertive to Hare as grabbing him by the balls. He may have been far too friendly to strangers, but he knew when to draw the line. "Well welcome to Wonderland." He perfunctorily replied while standing defensively distant from the man, not at all sounding like he was either welcoming or in the mood to celebrate. "Maybe some time later when there's actual daylight you could come by for tea. But right now, I think Hatter's sleeping, and me, well, ehehehehehhhh."

There was an odd shift in the others demeanor. One that was, as one could put it, vunerable. His eyes cast to the ground, and he held his hands, slightly wringing them before letting them fall to his sides and repeating the gesture; unsure.

"...Oh? I-I'm sorry.... I didn't know.. They were just so fluffy. And ..soft. Very nice...." He paused and leaned forward. "I'm new heere. I ran into the Twins. You know them, don't you? Oh they gave me a run for my money." His voice increased in volume, his twitchiness increasing. "But...as hard as I try!!" He turned away, stamping the ground and balling his fists.. "All they left me with was a shred of dignity, and THIS." He reached into his jacket and pulled out a playing card, back facing Hare.

Hare could tell that this man really wanted a piece of him. It didn't matter that they had known each other for 5 minutes now and Hare was making it rather clear he wasn't welcome at this time of night wandering his boyfrie-... friend's property.

{The part forever gone because Jennifer was using aim express which doesn't have logs... where Hare runs up to Hatter's porch and tries to unlock the door but doesn't and the Joker comes to sit on the steps and look "pitiable" for being lost, and then suddenly Hatter opens the door and goes "what the fuck is going on out here!" and the Joker says "I'm lost".}

Hatter surveyed the situation carefully. Hare was at his side, quivering like... I don't know... like all the tea in the world had disappeared... and there was some man wearing a suit in his favorite color, sulking on the porch. He gathered his mouth like a sesame street puppet in determination and patted the weird man on the shoulder.

"Don't worry. You're not lost. You're in Wonderland, and you need some tea!" He looked to Hare. "Hare, get the man some godamn tea, for Christ's sake."
Hare gave him one incredulous stare and scurried to the table looking for a pot that wasn't completely cold yet. He found a luke warm red and yellow one near the end and brought it near a chair that Hatter was helping the clown man into.

The figure stood up and dusted himself off, watching Hare go about his duty. "Wonderland... That's what I've been told-uh. Still can't believe it, though.." He walked towards the table and glanced about, deciding to sit on the corner.

Hare yanked out a cup and set it firmly in front of them, then poured, making sure his extended arms were as far away from him as possible as the tea filled the cup.

He leaned back, resting his hands behind him, crossing his legs, simply watching, intrigued. "Mad Hatter... right?" He glanced over at Hatter.

"Indeedy-do. SO. If you /don't/ mind me asking," Hatter said like he had met an old friend for lunch, "how the bloody fuck did you get /lost/? In /Wonderland/ of all places. Last I checked, this was the most organized friendly society ever. But hey, what do I know, I'm just the Mad Hatter, right?"

He gave a bit of a snrk and then took the fully filled cup of tea in his hand, pinky out. "Riight..well, I'm lost because I'm ...ah..a tourist, shall we say. " He glanced back at Hare and winked a bit. "So, if you're the expert..how do you get unlost?" Use the terminology they might.

Hare looked off to his side and found an excuse to walk into Hatter's house. Hatter glanced at him like he was being a jerk and then gave another perfunctory smile to the smiling man. "Well. As far as I'm concerned, being lost means going somewhere you don't know. So technically, you're not lost anymore because you know this is Wonderland. And the best way to uh.... /stay/ unlost..." He sipped some tea of his own. "Is to simply not go anywhere else." He said it like it couldn't possibly make more sense and leaned back in his chair.

"Of course, of course.. But what I mean is I need to, ah, get back from whence I came." He replied, sipping his tea. "And here, isn't there. There isn't here... So I'm lost while I'm here while I need to go there and so if I..don't move, I'll never get to there and always stay..." Another sip. "Here."

Hatter nodded vigorously. "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Well I mean, what I'm trying to say I don't understand is WHERE you came FROM. What did it look like?"

Joker glanced to the side as though he were breaking the forth wall. "Ah. I came..... from Gotham City." He replied, his tongue licking along his lips.

"Hmmm.... well... I know there's a Gooberwood City. And Gafferan... Uhhhh...Gotham...Gotham...Gotham..."

"You've not heard of it either, h'mm...?" He asked, inching a bit closer to the Hatter. "Someone I know would just get, a...a KICK out of you!" He started laughing as though there were some joke.

Hatter half chuckled, but it was obvious from his face he didn't know why he was doing it. "Well...lots of people get a kick out of me..." He added amusedly. "I'm just that kind of Hatter."

The laughter subsided to giggles and nods, although now he seemed distracted. He got up from where he was sitting and walked over to Hatter, wanting to get a good look at him.

Hatter gazed back and squinted his left eye.

In response, the figure tilted his head and held out a hand. "Joker..."

"Hatter," he replied with a toothy smile. He grabbed the gloved hand with his own equally gloved hand. Just then Hare came back out. He eyed the purple suited gloved men shaking hands and attempted to go back in when Hatter intervened. "Hareeee... what is with you being rude to our guest?" Hare darted his eyes around. He suspected this wasn't the time to mention he had practically been ass-raped in the bushes.

Joker gave Hare a slightly disapproving look. "Yes..that was quite rude.." He smirked just a bit. "Love, the..suit." He said to Hatter, turning towards him again. "Custom made?"

"Indeedy do. Was there all 36 hours it was made, too. It's like the child I never had..." He said to no one in particular. Hare tentatively took a seat a couple places down from the Hatter and Joker and contemplated a response.

"So, tell me about this place, will you, friend...?" Joker asked, now looking at Hare. What this man was up to, no one could ever be entirely sure.. Right now, he seemed positively cheery, always smiling and laughing.. but there was that hint of something-not-right. Maybe it was how he laughed, or how nothing ever reached his eyes.

Hare gave Hatter a "/me/??" look. Hatter flashed another toothy smile, though this one seemed more to say "speak, you little twat." "Uhhhh. uhhh. Wonderland." He flashed his eyebrows. "Great place..." He began, looking anywhere but into the Joker's eyes. "Lots of good people... good Queen... the Queen really upholds the law, too... so..."

Hatter interrupted. "We have some GREAT wilderness. Every few months, Hare and I go hiking.. And we certainly don't have Brokeback Mountain moments. I actually don't even know what Brokeback Mountain means. Why did I say that..." He yet again said to no one in particular.

He wasn't about to let Hatter know what Brokeback Mountain was, it was a lot funnier if he didn't know. He bit his lower lip and laughed, it turning into a high pitched keen. He slapped his knee and stretched a bit. "Biking'......Oh yes, I, ah.like biking.. It's surprisingly deadly." He said, suddenly serious and nodded. "So this queen of Hearts.. she tends to, ah, behead people?" He turned to Hatter." Told me of Hearts earlier whe nI stumbled in. Cute little caboose."

Hatter and Hare both darted their eyes around this time. "No... she doesn't behead people... or put them in jail come to think of it..." Hatter started.

Hare looked a little jumpy. "But it's the WORST when she yells at you." He tried.

"How true that is." Hatter agreed.