Okay! Before I talk about this, I just wanted to say that afterwards my Adventures in Wonderland fanfiction writing will be postponed for the time being. It's hard to say when Kate and I will do the final chapter of He's Having My Baby, but for the other stories, I can think of no reason why they should have priority. I'd like to focus on He's There and Crystal Palace 3, instead. CP3 I'd really like to believe can be finished this year, so that's going to be something I press more with Kate than moving on to a different fanfiction, as much as I've fantasized about picking up Handful of Hare with her or He Loves You Not... And He's There, I really need to start planning this. I mean really have the plot figured out, even though I'd like some wiggle room too. There needs to be a weekly schedule thing commencing in September, even if it's the 30th. So at this point, I really have to focus solely on that, and do the site illustrations so the layout can be up some time in the first month of returning to updates. If I see Kate, we will do one or the other of our two stories, but... I'm cracking down on myself because I have bigger fish to fry.

Anyway~ ~ ~
Regarding the updates for this story being in this journal... I don't think it's going to happen anymore, and it may also not be continued on ff.net. What I'm thinking of doing is posting it here, at the roleplaying comm where the idea started. We wrote a little bit about before they came through the mirror, and then... well you know the story. I tested fanart I drew for the story as the layout and fell in love with it and I figured it'd be an easier place for members of our AIW community Chuckleheads to keep track of it. But since I'm sharing the comm, I figure I should ask first. Anyway, would love to post it there, but for now, here. And because I love icons too much, I'm using two for AIW on this journal, now! Ohhh Goddd. I just didn't know when I was ever going to use the bunny-tension one and this seemed to work since in my fanfiction, I like to put more emphasis on the fact that Hare and Rabbit don't seem to exactly adore each other. XD; yeah...

"But I know you guys. Even the most simple task can become a catastrophe." They looked taken aback. "In Wonderland, what the fuck do I care? But in my own home, the blame's got to go on somebody, and-"

"Blame it on the cat-" Hare cut in. Alice squinted her eyes.

"What?"

"Just an idea..."

Alice stared off in space a moment and then rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, so yeah, you being here alone is going to be a challenge."

Part 3 – They Have No Concept of Time, Either

INT. ALICE'S ROOM. 7:00.
At 7'o'clock sharp, Alice's radio alarm went off. A hand swayed out from a mountain range of comforter folds and smacked the snooze button, then a head of blond tussled hair rose with a lethargic gaze. She wouldn't dare look to the right side of her bed, clinging to the idea that the whole night had been a crazy-ass dream and nothing more.

Nothing more.

In no hurry, she rose, noting that more of the wall was blank than would permit there to be two strange men still in her room. This made her more awake than she would usually be at this time of the morning.

She flicked off her alarm for good, paused, and worked her way to the other side of the bed with an awkward crawl that made her look like she was a large species of insect. We see her round green eyes emerge from a mound of bed in the corner of the screen. All hope was gone as she watched Hare's back rise and fall, an arm and leg flung over Hatter, whose mouth was gaping, and also whose hat had rolled away until obstructed by her computer desk. Alice only had to glance over his exposed blond roots a second before she covered her mouth mid-gasp and retracted.

Never before had she seen the man without his hat. He may as well have been stark naked.

She rubbed her eyes and tried to vanquish that sight from her memory before it was too late by heading for the bathroom. She brushed her teeth with a vacant stare into her reflection, combed out her hair, rinsed her face and opened the door. And who else would be there to bring cheer to her morning but her 9-year-old brother Brian, spraying her with a plastic water gun? As soon as the cold water hit her pajama-shirt, she screamed bloody murder and chased him about the hallway.

The sound hit Hatter's ears and woke him immediately. His eyes fell from the ceiling to the weight over his chest and knee, then to a nuzzling Hare. He was only half awake and didn't really know how to get out of this bind considering the space issue, so he patted him gently on the shoulder.

"Mmmph?" His friend voiced, but nothing more. The repeated warm brush against his neck was making him just a little bit uncomfortable.

"...Hare." Hare's eyes just barely opened. "I'm kind of stuck, here. Could you kindly not-be on top of me?" Hare came to senses about his compromising position and shook out of it. There were still thuds and sounds of aggression coming from the hallway.

"...Do you know what that is?" Hatter asked, running his fingers through his messy hair and returning his top-hat.


The boy just didn't run out of energy. "Whyyyy, oh whyyy did I say "yes" when they asked if they should have another child? Why?!" She thought as she ran for him, clutching for anything- his swaying arm, the back of his shirt, a lock of hair... He skipped merrily in the direction of Alice's bedroom and suddenly normal morning hysteria had deadly consequences.

"BRIAN! BRIAN, YOU SAY OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU LITTLE TWIRP!" Naturally, it was his demeanor to do the exact opposite of everything Alice said. He held up the water gun and came parading in, squirting at anything she might find valuable and giggling like he was pissing at the feet of Lady Liberty. Hatter and Hare stayed ducked behind the bed and raised their eyebrows to each other as the event took place. When Alice reached her room, she tackled him to the floor and dug the gun from his hand, then held it right in the middle of his forehead, straddling him around the waist. He wriggled for release with no luck.

"MOOOOOOOOMMM!!! ALICE IS TRYING TO KILL ME AGAIN!" The fact that this room might become a meeting place for her whole family now made her hesitant about finishing him off. She slid off of him and shoved him out the door as he regained stance, then hid the plastic gun in her drawer. She breathed heavily with her hand over the knob when Hatter and Hare peered out from their sleeping place, questioning of her household manner. Her only response was a glance at them before her father opened the door.

"Alice. What's going on up here?" She quickly removed her hand from the drawer.

"He came at me with a water gun."

Her father sighed raggedly. He knew how this went. He seemed like he was going to turn around and leave, but his hand landed on the door again. "And Alice?"

Alice straightened her posture.

"He's only doing it because he can get a reaction out of you."

"...Don't most people react when they're squirted in the face?"

"I... I guess so. You know what I meant though."

Alice averted her eyes as he closed the door. She looked back to the guys and they popped their heads up.

"Hey Alice?" Hatter piped up. "I...I... I don't know if this is a good time, but... If... If I don't go to the bathroom soon, I think I'm going to die."

"I second that."


Alice seemed off in thought.

"Crap, I think we just made her even angrier," Hare added.

"Okay. I'll go downstairs and keep everyone in the kitchen. Puh-lease be extra quick."

"We're guys, aren't we?!" Hatter reminded her. She bit her lip as they stood. If the whole hat-being-off-Hatter's-head thing was a surprise, she also couldn't remember seeing them look anything besides perfect. Both their jackets were missing, their bowties and shirt-collars were loosened... and now they were complaining about bodily functions? No. Just no. She walked out of the room. When she was all the way down the stairs, she gave a green light to Hatter and he quietly closed the bathroom door behind him and made business. Then took a look at himself in the mirror, and, not so happy with losing his dapper charm, hesitantly took Alice's (or whoever's) brush in his hands and tidied up his hair. Hare went in next and did things pretty much identically, thinking nobody would notice, and then returned to the room to find Hatter sitting casually on Alice's unmade bed. He was eying the mirror again.

Hare sighed and sat next to him. "I'm worried."

"About what?"

"That we won't ever be able to get back home."

"Hare, come on, if Alice can do it, and we did it yesterday, then eventually we're going to figure this out."

"But eventually is too far away. I'm not having any fun here."

"Alice will figure out what to do. She knows lots of things."

"I don't know, Hatter..." Hatter wrapped his arm around Hare's shoulder and shook him a little.

"Why don't we give somebody a call and see if they have any advice?" This cheered Hare up a little. "Come on, didn't you say you had Rabbit's number?"

"On speed dial!" He smiled. He plucked the Motorola from his pocket and proudly clicked twice. It rang probably eight or nine times before he answered, though.

"...Hello-o'?"

"...Rabbit?"

"...Who... who is this?"

"Oh come onnn, you know it's me." Hare flipped his wrist. There was a pause.

"He'a~?!"

Hare happily chuckled.

"Why the hell are you calling me?! And at this hou'a~?!" Hare checked the clock next to him, but wasn't fast enough to answer. "It's three tha~ty in the morning!"

"No it's not! It's 7:28!"

"No, I'm pretty su'a~ it's 3:30." Hare rose his hand.

"Well you're going to have to get your clock fixed, because-"

"-I'm not going to a~gue with you about the bloody time! It's ea~ly and I'm sleeping, you bahstard!"

Hare's informative finger drooped in defeat. Hatter's smile fell when he realized the conversation wasn't going as pleasantly as he had thought. Hare covered the receiver with his hand a moment.

"Rabbit says it's 3:30 over there."

"Maybe there's a time difference?" It dawned on Hare that maybe there was. He put the phone to his hear again.

"Listen, we're sorry, Rabbit."

"We?"

"Yes, I'm here with Hatter, in Alice's room."

"Are you trying to prank me?! I say! It's not enough to torment me during appropriate hours of the day, you have to-to-"

"But Rabbit, we really are in Alice's room,-"

"That's it. You're just going to have to botha~ me lata~."

"Ra-"

When he heard a dial tone, Hare dropped the phone to his lap.
He tried to call him a couple more times, but it kept going to voicemail after the first ring.

Just then Alice returned to the bedroom and closed the door. She looked a little bothered that they were just sitting there out in the open, but then prepared to speak. "It's Friday..." She started. They didn't see the point in her mentioning it. "Which means I have to go to school. And so do my sister and brother. And my parents are going to work."

"Does that mean everybody will be gone?" Hare asked, like it wasn't obvious.

"...Y-Yeah. And that's kind of an issue."

"Alice... I think I speak for Hare and I both when I say that you acting like we can't even tie our shoes without help is kind of offensive."

"But I know you guys. Even the most simple task can become a catastrophe." They looked taken aback. "In Wonderland, what the fuck do I care? But in my own home, the blame's got to go on somebody, and-"

"Blame it on the cat-" Hare cut in. Alice squinted her eyes.

"What?"

"Just an idea..."

Alice stared off in space a moment and then rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, so yeah, you being here alone is going to be a challenge."

Hatter grumbled.

"Alice, we're not going to do anything stupid!"

Alice thought a moment, approaching the mirror. She took one look at her reflection and the two men behind her and then turned around sharply.

"Will you try with the mirror again?"

Hatter and Hare looked to each other and nodded, then Hare and Alice cleared the way for Hatter. He extended his arm and came towards the mirror, and not surprisingly, nothing came of it. Alice lowered her head.

"I guess I have no choice but to trust you."

They huddled together and crossed their arms, their exasperation for Alice's lack of faith sinking deep.

"I've got to get going. You guys have to leave this house exactly the way it is. No jumping on tables, no diving from the stairs, no objects flying out windows..." She paced in front of them and counted on her fingers. "Don't use a single electrical appliance... Don't go into Cathy or Brian's bedrooms, or my parents'... Stay away from the windows..."

Hare put his hand over his mouth.

"That's a lot of rules."

"I know it is... I'm sorry."

"Well we've got it under control, nonetheless," Hatter reassured. Alice tried to look deep into his eyes and believe him.

"Yeah, okay."

She took a few deep breaths and went to the dresser to pick out some clothes. She pointed towards the other side of the bed and the guys quickly hopped behind it as she took her leave.


As she changed in the bathroom, she saw her brush sitting on the counter. Once her pants were zipped, she stepped forward and examined it, discovering with a gaping mouth that there was a wad of dark brown entangled in the bristles. Her fingers gingerly poked in and ripped it out. She knew it was some sort of omen of the day ahead.

They watched her pack her books with an unsettling frown on her face, and when she reached the door, she looked like she was prepared to step out into the end of the world as she knew it. "Bye Hatter. Bye...Hare."

"Bye Alice," they replied simultaneously, waving their colorful glove-clad hands. She faintly smiled and left. There was shuffling downstairs for ten minutes or so, and then the crew had all vanished to their respective lives.

When it seemed safe, the pair rose to their feet and twiddled their thumbs in the middle of the room, eying the place with uncertainty.

"...You want to go make sure they're really gone?" Hare asked. Hatter puckered his lower lip and obeyed. He came out and hung over the stair railing listening for a stir, then returned to the door frame and swatted his hand for Hare to follow him, and so Hare did, nervously close, like a duckling. When Hatter reached the entrance to Brian's room, Hare shuffled into his back when he came to a halt.

"Would you calm down?"

"I-I'm sorry.

Hatter poked his head in the remaining rooms at the other end of the hall and lightly took Hare's arm to lead him towards the stairs. "Come on, let's go downstairs and find some tea." Hare's feet stumbled down the steps.

"B-b-but Alice says she doesn't have any other tea-"

"Psh, she's probably just saving the good stuff for herself."

"I don't see why she would-"

"Trust me. She's got to have tea. No sane person wouldn't."

Hatter swung himself around the banister and marched for the kitchen, Hare right by his side with his eyes darting in every direction. There wasn't a single hesitant pause in his stride before he was flinging all the cupboards open, with Hare behind him closing them as they were dismissed.

"Hmmm, nope, nope.... nope..."

"Hatter, I really don't think she has any-"

"And I really think you're starting to get on my nerves," he grunted. He shoved away a box of hot chocolate packets and found the Lipton box, which just inspired more grunting and pouting.
"Y-You're going under withdrawal, aren't you?"

"What was your first guess, Captain Obvious? It's 8:30! I would've had five or ten cups by now!"

"I think you're exaggerating just a bit."

"Well including how many I missed last night."

Hare closed the last open cabinet and landed his hands on Hatter's arm as he stood at the edge of the counter looking lost. "I'm sorry, Hatter... I know how you feel. W-we'll get tea somehow."

Hatter turned towards Hare.

"I'm kind of hungry again, too."

"...Alice never said anything about eating."

Hatter peered inside the cupboard again.

"We could make waffles."

Hare's face brightened at that idea.

"We could!" It dropped again. "...Except... we're not allowed to use the stove."

"...Toast?"

"...That comes from a toaster."

"Well I guess there's cereal..."

"Hey that's an idea!" Hare slapped his hand on his knee and they looked through the selections. There was nothing but a lonely box of Grapenuts. Finally, Hatter's brow dropped over his eyes.

"What the hell is this bullshit?!" He exclaimed.

"It's finnneee," Hare reassured, patting him a little and taking out the box. "Any cereal is good with enough sugar!" With that, he lifted up the sugar shaker and did a little jig.

"How true that is!"


And so, they rocked around the kitchen like they were clever and ate the sugar-infested Grapenuts, as if their hyperactivity needed any extra kick.

"Hey Hare, I've got a great idea. We'll just go to the store and buy tea!" Hatter mentioned as they were rinsing their bowls.

"I guess, but we need money."

"Not to worry, I've got twenty woebucks." He pulled them from his pocket confidently. "That should be enough for two or three boxes."

"But how do we get there?"

"We'll just walk. It can't be far. Stores are everywhere, and they're always filled with friendly helpful people." He smiled to his buddy, who looked just as convinced.