I've just had random inspiration to write something totally unplanned with whatever poignant word-play I can muster, so I decided I would write a key scene, and a key vision, for my unwritten fanfic The Queen and the Contractor. Jenna absolutely insists I write this eventually, but who knows if I'd be welcome to post it publicly! This is probably going to be the most inappropriate fanfic I've ever written for Adventures in Wonderland, even moreso than He's Having My Baby... maybe.

Actually, maybe it's a toss-up. I mean in HHMB the sex between Hatter and Hare is pretty comical and glossed over, but there is a suicide attempt and a whole ton of swearing, thanks to Kate being my co-writer...

But this excerpt I just wrote? Oh, just see for yourselves. XD lmao

Rabbit swayed and stumbled on his way to the kitchen with three grocery bags only barely in his grasp. Two trips, his ass, he thought. He could do this. However, as he was crossing the corridor, he could hear what seemed to be sated moaning coming from behind the stained glass door. Had he left the radio on in there? It was distinctly guttural, grating, and rather unrefined. If it was the radio, had he left it on a station that was less than savory in the evenings?! Rabbit hurried to the kitchen to address the noise. Maybe it was just one of those damn Pantene Pro V commercials, he wondered. He scuttled down to drop the bags on the floor, growing steadily embarrassed by the reverberating nature of the moaning. Then, with no hesitation, he opened the door.

What he saw was not a radio but the Walrus slathering all up on the Queen like butter on toast. She was belly up on the counter-top with a half-eaten pie beside her. "YES, YES, YES!" She screamed, almost exactly like those women in the shampoo commercials. Meanwhile, all the pots and china in the room clinked with every thrust.

His face stretched into a most profound state of terror before he back-stepped away from this foul, shameless, devastating invasion of his senses.

He tripped and wandered through the palace. It had escaped him where his bedroom was. Where did a bunny even go after such an experience? What was still true of this world?

Rabbit eventually found his room, and there he cuddled without the glow of the lamp, with Lambsy deep in his embrace. For seventy years, until just an hour before, there was still an innocence simmering in his soul, but it had finally been squelched. He almost felt too dirty, even, to be holding his dear stuffed friend.

"O-oh-oh dear Lord... Lordy lordy lorrrrrrd," he repeated.

"...I didn't think you'd order something like that."

"Why's that?"

"You tend to lose your appetite in foreign situations."

"Oh, do I, now." He needn't do anything but half-grin at me. "Actually, that's not what I ordered."

"...What?"

"Y-you're right. I-I can't say that I'm very inspired to eat... with you... right there," I swished my hand, "the Infamous Note-Sender, across the table from me."

I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE THIS PART BUT IT'S STILL 2 WEEKS AHEAD. AHHHH


And before I forget, I contacted Robert Englund's site to ask if he had any information or interviews around about playing the Phantom. I also said that I loved this version and he was pleasantly villainous, charming even, and interesting..♥ It turns out his wife runs the site. She told me he had gone over it in a book he published (which I see in Amazon but I don't know if I actually want it since it's probably most about being Freddie Krueger)... She also said that she would tell him what I said about his Erik.

Agghhhhhpe. Never did I think my own compliments would reach one of THE Eriks! Holy bejeesas. I hope he smiles when he hears it. God knows he deserves a little recognition. Comparing him to the Broadway phantoms is just unfair. He was not trying to be that man, and I'm glad.

lkjasdf;lkjasd Phantom-love in my notes~~~.