Well I sure feel like a real loser right now.

First Tuesday of writing CP3: We write like a page and then I fall asleep at the computer.
Second Tuesday of writing CP3: Kate is sick and then busy, never comes online.
Third Tuesday of writing CP3: We get caught up chatting it up, start late again, write like 3 pages, I fall asleep at the computer AGAIN.

Fuck. I never used to just collapse at 11:00 before. I would blame it on my schedule, but then I'd be shirking responsibility. Damnit. Kate must be frustrated with me. I know I am. We don't have even one part done and we should've completed three by now.

There's still time... I'm just venting...

It's really a miracle that I get A's in my classes and reputably do my job, because I really am a procrastinating, screws-self-over scatter-brain. I still haven't sat down to plan He's There, let alone write it. I'm two months late, I just... it's killing me. It's not easy to write a novel anymore. When I did most of the chapters, in late 2007 and early 2008, I didn't have a job. I had two classes, and nothing else to do. I had time pouring out of my nostrils to write. Nowadays, you can't really think ahead, I have to think of in-the-moment, getting my assignments done, getting to class, taking a little time to eat sleep and bathe before going off to work, resting afterwards... I try to draw for myself to keep my sanity, but even that isn't all the time, and it's not getting me anywhere...

I keep thinking about writing, but I have no idea when it's going to happen. We have midterms this week and next... so screw that. I just don't know. Even if I got to the writing part, how would I have a full chapter done every week? That's like a 7pg paper due every week. Yeah, I could do bi-monthly updates, but it might not keep me motivated enough. I hate this. I want things to be simpler again so I can have time to do what I love.

The site isn't even done yet because I don't have hardly any illustrations. Damn it. Damn it all to hell!