I haven't written a word of Chapter 46 for almost two weeks. What happened was I wrote chapter 45 when I was already quite obligated to do a bunch of other stuff, but I shirked my responsibilities and figured I'd make up for it later the next week or weekend. But then I found out there was ANOTHER film festival I had to go to for class, which I enjoyed, but it left no time for any writing. It was catch-up and festival all last weekend, and then other things came up.
I don't know why I'm writing about this.
Anyway, one new review came in from someone I always like to hear from, but I'm still 5 shy of posting anything when it actually gets done. Actually, I've had conversations with a few people lately who were supportive, and this type of thing always makes me backtrack and wonder if I was complaining without justification. I've had to think about it and decide this is still something I think I deserve to complain about. I'm not down about my story or trying to be pushy. I'm saying, calmly and frankly, that I will put FF.net behind me if I feel it's not worth it. It was never smart to have something I wanted to revise and publish out on the internets anyway, I just did it for feedback. No feedback, no need to risk it. Cutting ff.net out of the picture would probably be good for HT, especially in the homestretch.
In fact, I had planned to only show the last few chapters to close friends and tell everyone else to wait for publication anyway. lmao I don't know how that'll work -- maybe I'll change my mind -- but it was to somehow protect the whole thing from being complete bait to a thief. That probably sounds stupid.
It's unfortunate that even amongst just a few friends here, I worry I sound silly and unable to recognize a dream just won't come true.
Anyway, hm, this somehow got long without me meaning for it to.
I guess I'd like to say, in closing... I wish I could handle more than one thing at a time. Or one thing period. Writing sometimes feels like all I really have. I was even fantasizing about what it might be like if I just simply failed to get a challenging, exciting internship this summer, but instead I went back to flipping pizzas and pretending my "novel" was on its way to publication and maybe a little dinero, for paying back these loans I now owe. Flipping pizzas and then wandering off into fantasy land. Could work.
P.S. Spring. Hate it. Such an uninteresting and uninspiring time of year.
I don't know why I'm writing about this.
Anyway, one new review came in from someone I always like to hear from, but I'm still 5 shy of posting anything when it actually gets done. Actually, I've had conversations with a few people lately who were supportive, and this type of thing always makes me backtrack and wonder if I was complaining without justification. I've had to think about it and decide this is still something I think I deserve to complain about. I'm not down about my story or trying to be pushy. I'm saying, calmly and frankly, that I will put FF.net behind me if I feel it's not worth it. It was never smart to have something I wanted to revise and publish out on the internets anyway, I just did it for feedback. No feedback, no need to risk it. Cutting ff.net out of the picture would probably be good for HT, especially in the homestretch.
In fact, I had planned to only show the last few chapters to close friends and tell everyone else to wait for publication anyway. lmao I don't know how that'll work -- maybe I'll change my mind -- but it was to somehow protect the whole thing from being complete bait to a thief. That probably sounds stupid.
It's unfortunate that even amongst just a few friends here, I worry I sound silly and unable to recognize a dream just won't come true.
Anyway, hm, this somehow got long without me meaning for it to.
I guess I'd like to say, in closing... I wish I could handle more than one thing at a time. Or one thing period. Writing sometimes feels like all I really have. I was even fantasizing about what it might be like if I just simply failed to get a challenging, exciting internship this summer, but instead I went back to flipping pizzas and pretending my "novel" was on its way to publication and maybe a little dinero, for paying back these loans I now owe. Flipping pizzas and then wandering off into fantasy land. Could work.
P.S. Spring. Hate it. Such an uninteresting and uninspiring time of year.
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