I was going through my AIW One-Shot Collection folder now that I've got my laptop back (and like new!), and I found this little story that was never shared. *sigh* It kind of hurts but it kind of feels good to read over things like this between Jenna and I. I just miss our world and our jokes, our humor over the little things, our silly Cartomancy sessions so she could find out what was going to happen within her Dodgson & Rabbit love triangle. I miss that there were always little things we were doing, like posting to the blogs, doing AIW research, binge-watching TV series, picking things to get wrapped up in together. I can guarantee my mental health would have deteriorated at a much faster rate if she hadn't been there, and I feel I was helpful to her too. So why now does she not need me at all? Did she meet someone else who does all these things with her? I feel broken up with. Like she just realized that I was more bad than good, or not good enough, that she wasn't pleased by the thought of any of what used to define us. Tired of it. Tired of the same person with the same story.

I tried to explain that to Eddie. In the absense of romantic relationships, your best friendship is a pretty close alternative. And should they leave you behind without a single clue why, you don't want anybody else. You just feel like you're stuck waiting. When Eddie's not around, I still feel really empty and unmotivated, and I know it's because she's gone. I've exhausted every way of reaching her. I've emailed her, I've messaged her blogs, I've texted her, I've spoken to her mom. She has to have seen something I sent her, or heard about me wanting her contact, she just refuses to give it to me. She is content making me feel abandoned.



[6/13/2014 9:03:27 PM] Princess Orlokz: I want candy
[6/13/2014 9:03:45 PM] Princess Orlokz: and I want hare
[6/13/2014 9:03:51 PM] Princess Orlokz: I want to cuddle hare and eat candy
[6/13/2014 9:03:56 PM] Princess Orlokz: and feed him candy
[6/13/2014 9:04:18 PM] Phantomwise: I'd like to feed chocolate to rabbit
[6/13/2014 9:04:43 PM] Princess Orlokz: and I'm sure right now they're sitting in wonderland feeling all alone and thinking "I wish a fine lady was feeding me chocolate"
[6/13/2014 9:04:52 PM] Phantomwise: xD
[6/13/2014 9:10:13 PM] Princess Orlokz: we'll get to wonderland
[6/13/2014 9:10:19 PM] Princess Orlokz: and go and buy giant bean-bags
[6/13/2014 9:10:26 PM] Princess Orlokz: and bring them to hatter's house
[6/13/2014 9:10:28 PM] Princess Orlokz: and go up to the attic
[6/13/2014 9:10:34 PM] Princess Orlokz: and be like "hatter, get out of here"
[6/13/2014 9:10:52 PM] Princess Orlokz: and you'll call up rabbit and tell him to come over
[6/13/2014 9:11:20 PM] Phantomwise: kick hatter out of his own attic, huh?
[6/13/2014 9:11:24 PM] Princess Orlokz: and hare will already be there; he'll be in the kitchen washing teacups and singing to himself and being adorable
[6/13/2014 9:11:44 PM] Princess Orlokz: so I'll go down there and tell him to come to the attic alone
[6/13/2014 9:11:50 PM] Princess Orlokz: yes. I love kicking hatter out of his own house
[6/13/2014 9:11:53 PM] Phantomwise: lol
[6/13/2014 9:12:04 PM] Princess Orlokz: and we'll have our bunnies to cuddle with
[6/13/2014 9:12:12 PM] Phantomwise: he doesn't put up a fuss about it?
[6/13/2014 9:12:20 PM] Princess Orlokz: he...
[6/13/2014 9:12:29 PM] Princess Orlokz: well he's mainly confused
[6/13/2014 9:12:43 PM] Princess Orlokz: I think he goes down for tea, doesn't take us seriously but has no reason to come up to the attic anyway
[6/13/2014 9:12:50 PM] Princess Orlokz: but he finds out the hard way that he really isn't allowed up
[6/13/2014 9:12:54 PM] Princess Orlokz: and he sees those bunnies getting spoiled
[6/13/2014 9:12:55 PM] Phantomwise: XD
[6/13/2014 9:13:02 PM] Princess Orlokz: and he's like "HEY" and starts getting all indignant
[6/13/2014 9:13:05 PM] Phantomwise: "hey! what about me!"
[6/13/2014 9:13:17 PM] Princess Orlokz: yeah
[6/13/2014 9:13:21 PM] Princess Orlokz: he'd crawl up to me and hare
[6/13/2014 9:13:37 PM] Princess Orlokz: and I'd have to shoo him away and swish my foot at him before he crawls into the middle
[6/13/2014 9:13:45 PM] Princess Orlokz: "SHOO, HATTER, SHOO"
[6/13/2014 9:13:59 PM] Princess Orlokz: hatter: "THAT'S NOT FAIR, A HATTER NEEDS LOVE TOO"
[6/13/2014 9:14:08 PM] Phantomwise: "AND IT'S MY ATTIC"
[6/13/2014 9:14:17 PM] Princess Orlokz: I'd feel bad and cuddle him later
[6/13/2014 9:14:26 PM] Phantomwise: that's nice
[6/13/2014 9:14:32 PM] Princess Orlokz: once hare went home, I'd be like "alright, sit down"
[6/13/2014 9:14:40 PM] Princess Orlokz: and he'd plop into the chair and barely fit
[6/13/2014 9:15:16 PM] Princess Orlokz: and we'd just cuddle and he'd be like "oh my god, we could be reading comic books right now"
[6/13/2014 9:15:27 PM] Phantomwise: lol!
[6/13/2014 9:15:28 PM] Princess Orlokz: "comic cuddling!"
[6/13/2014 9:15:44 PM] Phantomwise: thankfully he has a bunch up there already
[6/13/2014 9:16:25 PM] Princess Orlokz: he can read whatever he wants, I'd just keep cuddling him and rolling my eyes
[6/13/2014 9:25:34 PM] Princess Orlokz: and then the next day, hare finds out about it
[6/13/2014 9:25:45 PM] Phantomwise: uh oh
[6/13/2014 9:25:50 PM] Princess Orlokz: and he's like "I didn't know you were just cuddling EVERYBODY in wonderland!!"
[6/13/2014 9:26:01 PM] Phantomwise: xD
[6/13/2014 9:26:12 PM] Phantomwise: he wanted your cuddles all to himself
[6/13/2014 9:26:57 PM] Princess Orlokz: I try to say it meant nothing,
[6/13/2014 9:27:01 PM] Princess Orlokz: nothing but friendship
[6/13/2014 9:27:10 PM] Princess Orlokz: but I have to promise not to cuddle anyone but him
[6/13/2014 9:27:41 PM] Princess Orlokz: and we spend the rest of the day, still arguing about why I can or can't cuddle anybody else! because I secretly had rabbit-cravings too
[6/13/2014 9:28:09 PM] Phantomwise: XDD well I wouldn't tell hare if you did cuddle rabbit, I understand that the bunny is very cuddly
[6/13/2014 9:28:12 PM] Princess Orlokz: and I go "YOU KNOW WHAT, MISTER, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU SECOND-GUESSING ME"
[6/13/2014 9:28:19 PM] Princess Orlokz: xDD
[6/13/2014 9:28:37 PM] Princess Orlokz: so I grab his face and smooch him on every single inch of it
[6/13/2014 9:28:56 PM] Phantomwise: does that convince him?
[6/13/2014 9:29:03 PM] Princess Orlokz: "AND IF YOU INVITE ME OVER, I'LL DO OTHER THINGS"
[6/13/2014 9:29:08 PM] Princess Orlokz: "USE YOUR IMAGINATION"
[6/13/2014 9:29:18 PM] Princess Orlokz: "AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND... IT'S AN ADVENTURE IN WONDERLAND."
[6/13/2014 9:29:25 PM] Phantomwise: XDD
[6/13/2014 9:29:30 PM] Phantomwise: nice
[6/13/2014 9:34:43 PM] Princess Orlokz: well, I try to tell him what I would do, but he's eating celery again
[6/13/2014 9:35:12 PM] Phantomwise: ya gotta wait until snack time is over
[6/13/2014 9:35:59 PM] Princess Orlokz: so then hatter learns the next day that hare and I had magical shower timez
[6/13/2014 9:36:11 PM] Princess Orlokz: and used up a whole bottle of whipped cream
[6/13/2014 9:36:16 PM] Princess Orlokz: and I'm like "howtf did you hear about that"
[6/13/2014 9:36:41 PM] Phantomwise: did hare tell him?
[6/13/2014 9:36:57 PM] Princess Orlokz: "obviously hare tells me everything. he was practically bragging"
[6/13/2014 9:37:23 PM] Princess Orlokz: "if magical shower time is going to happen in wonderland, it just doesn't make sense that I wouldn't be involved!"
[6/13/2014 9:37:36 PM] Princess Orlokz: me: "oh for god's sake, we are not having this discussion!!"
[6/13/2014 9:38:11 PM] Phantomwise: lol oh hatter
[6/13/2014 9:38:23 PM] Phantomwise: not everything has to involve hatter too
[6/13/2014 9:38:58 PM] Princess Orlokz: "look. I told hare there are special things that I would only do with him."
[6/13/2014 9:39:07 PM] Princess Orlokz: "and I meant it"
[6/13/2014 9:39:10 PM] Princess Orlokz: "unlike you"
[6/13/2014 9:41:00 PM] Princess Orlokz: "besides, I have things to worry about that would never concern you. if I get knocked up, I'd like to be sure who the father is"
[6/13/2014 9:41:09 PM] Princess Orlokz: hatter:"ohohoho, you have no idea..."
[6/13/2014 9:41:23 PM] Phantomwise: XD
[6/13/2014 9:41:35 PM] Phantomwise: hatter: "join the club"
[6/13/2014 9:41:52 PM] Princess Orlokz: can you imagine? being pregnant and you don't know if it's hatter's or hare's? XD
[6/13/2014 9:43:03 PM] Phantomwise: I have the feeling they'd probably both act like the father anyway
[6/13/2014 9:43:09 PM] Princess Orlokz: lol
[6/13/2014 9:43:20 PM] Princess Orlokz: hatter and hare as both my baby-daddies... wow
[6/13/2014 9:43:28 PM] Phantomwise: XDD
[6/13/2014 9:44:00 PM] Princess Orlokz: at least hatter and I might make a halfway decent looking child
[6/13/2014 9:44:07 PM] Princess Orlokz: if I reproduced with hare, it would be hideous