I was going through my AIW One-Shot Collection folder now that I've got my laptop back (and like new!), and I found this little story that was never shared. *sigh* It kind of hurts but it kind of feels good to read over things like this between Jenna and I. I just miss our world and our jokes, our humor over the little things, our silly Cartomancy sessions so she could find out what was going to happen within her Dodgson & Rabbit love triangle. I miss that there were always little things we were doing, like posting to the blogs, doing AIW research, binge-watching TV series, picking things to get wrapped up in together. I can guarantee my mental health would have deteriorated at a much faster rate if she hadn't been there, and I feel I was helpful to her too. So why now does she not need me at all? Did she meet someone else who does all these things with her? I feel broken up with. Like she just realized that I was more bad than good, or not good enough, that she wasn't pleased by the thought of any of what used to define us. Tired of it. Tired of the same person with the same story.

I tried to explain that to Eddie. In the absense of romantic relationships, your best friendship is a pretty close alternative. And should they leave you behind without a single clue why, you don't want anybody else. You just feel like you're stuck waiting. When Eddie's not around, I still feel really empty and unmotivated, and I know it's because she's gone. I've exhausted every way of reaching her. I've emailed her, I've messaged her blogs, I've texted her, I've spoken to her mom. She has to have seen something I sent her, or heard about me wanting her contact, she just refuses to give it to me. She is content making me feel abandoned.

( Magical Shower Times )

Oh my Lord, I was up laughing last night. Well, discreetly laughing; I didn't want to be too loud.

As per this entry, I started a little thing called The AIW One-Shot Collection, which conglomerates all of the tiny little on-a-whim stories I've told only Jenna the past two years. Skype has been difficult to work with, but I'm pulling things out of the past by searching keywords, and it has been immensely rewarding. I'm finding them very inspiring and fresh to read through since I hadn't seen some of them since the time I was writing them. They weren't planned, plotted, or edited. They weren't intended for anything. However, I do wonder if I'll find one or two that work to fill the one-shot buffers I'm going to have between short stories in my future AIW Fanfiction eBook. More on that another time.

Some of them aren't strictly AIW -- Jenna and I have a world in our heads that includes not only Rabbit, Hare, and Hatter, but Charles Dodgson (who is a highly deviant mathematician living in a large house with her where he has a secret "Number Studio" where he makes numbers come alive and uses 8's as springy steps to jump through second story windows), Max Schreck (who visits me and usually looks down upon the other people I associate with, in broken English of course), the comedian/Whose Line player Greg Proops (who has become Dodgson's friend and developed "The Candy Underground" with him in order to steal everybody's candy. Max only tentatively got involved with that but has since renounced the project), and also Ellen and Hutter. We sometimes talk about "how things are going" in terms of this fictional situation, and I've even resorted to playing card tarot readings to give her advice about how to deal with the stress of being in a love triangle between a bunny and a man who's, well, if I may use this apt British idiom, all sixes and sevens. *chortle*

Anyway, I found a few last night, and I'm planning a post a couple that have been re-formatted. May they bring anyone who sees them even half the amount of jollies I had.

( Genie Rumors (2pgs) )
( Dracula (1pg) )

Moar scandalous ones later, like if I dressed up Hare in nothing but barrettes, short-shorts, and pasties and sent him to Hatter's tea party.

Recently, Jenna and I have been talking about if Hare and I had a baby. lol I know that this is absolutely absurd and immature and probably calls my stability into question, but it has been a very amusing, comforting, creatively fruitful scenario. Yeah, I don't know why, but even my shriveled up motherly instincts flare for this guy. In real life, I have no intentions of having children any time soon, and I don't covet other people's babies, but Hare just makes me want his babyyyy. Neither of us is that attractive, so it's not as if I'd do it to have beautiful offspring. I just love him, so I'd want to keep his genes going -- and he'd be an adorable father if he were ever ready for it. Similarly, I might make a pretty good mother if I were ever ready for it. I can't believe I'm even entertaining this idea semi-publicly; it's so embarrassing and nonsensical: babies with nonexistent bunny men!

Whatever. So anyhoo, I'd be happy with a boy or a girl, but somehow it ended up being a girl named Harriet. Get it? Hare, Harriet? It's not my favorite girl's name by a long shot, but it reminds me of Harriet the Spy, who was my hero when I was a kid. I tried to be just like her (in fact, in our closet is still my yellow rain coat with a magnifying glass and a notepad in the pocket, preserved by my mother.)

So anyway, we've got a story about if Hare needed to have Harriet baby-sat. I was drawing for it this evening, and smiling and giggling and wanting this baby so badly that I came up with another story about wanting to get knocked up before I could even establish good contact with Hare (as if I may find Wonderland some day but fumble with mirror travel first.)

( I'm telling it since it's half finished: )

To be continued...

Last but not least... Ohh, good times, good times... XD

( Bed Time Methods - 3pgs )

Let me just say, this one is adorable and I'm surprised I wrote it with such clarity late at night. XD This is basically just a fulfilling self-insert fantasy in which Jenna and I sometimes indulge.

( Hare's Scandalous Proposal - 4pgs )

[7/30/2014 11:35:31 PM] Phantomwise: it was a cute story
[7/30/2014 11:35:38 PM] Phantomwise: so did hare get the cake he wanted?
[7/30/2014 11:36:40 PM] Princess Orlokz: yes
[7/30/2014 11:36:42 PM] Princess Orlokz: and it was a mess
[7/30/2014 11:36:46 PM] Princess Orlokz: I had to lick it off of him
[7/30/2014 11:36:48 PM] Princess Orlokz: in the shower
[7/30/2014 11:36:55 PM] Princess Orlokz: after everybody left

(Bleh, I'm annoyed I don't have all my icons since I haven't updated my paid account. Hatter will have to do.)

Attention, attention,

There is going to be a new memories section at this journal called the AIW One-Shot Collection which will feature meaningless little stories told through AIM/Skype about Wonderland or its characters. I've been doing this for years but I haven't been keeping track of it, and I aim to change that because many of these little things are charming and nostalgic and they are an outlet for my creativity when I'm not being super serious or getting myself invested in a huge project. That's part of the reason I didn't keep track - I figured no one cared. But I kind of care! They're special to me.

So, alongside two past stories I polished and added in the past month, (The Nipple and Jennifer, Hare, and the Baby-Oil)... here are three more coming up! The first being...

( A Very Cozy Nap - 1 1/2pgs )

[8/25/2014 10:06:53 PM] Phantomwise: aww
[8/25/2014 10:07:05 PM] Phantomwise: you better have cuddled him too
[8/25/2014 10:07:23 PM] Princess Orlokz: yes
[8/25/2014 10:07:28 PM] Princess Orlokz: when he got up, we had massive cuddlez
[8/25/2014 10:07:43 PM] Phantomwise: good, good
[8/25/2014 10:07:54 PM] Phantomwise: bunnies need their cuddles, you know
[8/25/2014 10:08:04 PM] Princess Orlokz: yes, yes
[8/25/2014 10:08:05 PM] Phantomwise: if they were a sim, they'd have a bar just for cuddling
[8/25/2014 10:08:10 PM] Princess Orlokz: xDDD
[8/25/2014 10:08:23 PM] Phantomwise: I try to keep Rabbit's full
[8/25/2014 10:08:35 PM] Princess Orlokz: I just thought of a game called Bunneh Cuddlez
[8/25/2014 10:08:47 PM] Princess Orlokz: where you must keep Rabbit and Hare properly cuddled or you lose
[8/25/2014 10:08:51 PM] Phantomwise: XD
[8/25/2014 10:09:00 PM] Phantomwise: sounds like a very rewarding game

Because writing incredibly short one-shots for no reason at all has been a newly discovered joy for me recently.

Jennifer, Hare, and the Baby Oil

One chilly day in Wonderland, Jennifer was over at Hare's. They had been watching TV that afternoon, drinking tea, and giggling about absolutely nothing when Jennifer proposed that they hop in the tub and have a bubble bath. Hare was all for it. They had done it once before, weeks ago, and he never wanted to bring up how much fun it was in case Jennifer didn't feel the same. They ran for the bathroom, tossing their clothes off. There was a trail of suit jackets, panties, and suspenders all the way down the hall.

While the water was running, Jennifer marvelled at the size of the tub. It was one of the biggest she had ever seen, and at the back of her mind she wondered how Hare was able to afford it. Exotic dancing, again? She thought of asking, but she noticed baby oil in the cabinet while she was looking for the bubble bath. "Wait," she said. Hare twitched his nose.

"What?"
"Turn off that water. I have a great idea." Hare obeyed and turned back around.
"What is it?"
"Let's turn the bathtub into a slip'n'slide!" Hare's mouth dropped in pure ecstasy.
"OKAY!"

The end.

Wrote this for Jenna the other night, for no reason at all. I just told her "I feel like telling a story," and told it off the top of my head.

( The Nipple - 3 1/2pgs )

I'm very technically behind 300 words today, but that surprises me anyway, because there's so much homework this week. I was starting to worry, even, that this week was going to ruin my chance at winning NaNo this year. I guess, for another day, I'm safe.

Chapter 44 is almost done, but it too has places where it needs improvement, so I'm thinking maybe I won't be posting anything new in November for He's There, but then editing what I got through in December and posting once a week.

13017 / 50000 words. 26% done!

Now, I don't know if this is cheating, but I would hope not, as I did it last year as well when I split my writing into two stories. I wrote almost a thousand words tonight doing an assignment for Creative Writing that turned into a little one-shot for Adventures in Wonderland, so I added that to my word count.

As for why it's an AIW fanfic, she never told us we had to come up with original people, and I figured my teacher wouldn't know this show and just think I was interpreting iconic characters. For those of you still wondering "why the hell are you writing AIW fics for school?", the answer is simple and I hope you can be sympathetic: the class is driving me nuts. It's my least favorite and our teacher is a grad student who doesn't know how to engage a class and stimulate their brains. So it was either shoot myself or make this assignment fun in some way.

The only thing is it's a little serious! I took an oooold idea that I once joked about with a friend about this jacuzzi Hatter made for the Dormouse in one episode that almost killed him. Our joke was that he went flying and actually died, and Hatter and Hare tried to cover it up. My assignment features them acknowledging that they killed him and wondering if they should tell the truth, but it's kind of sad. It's another part of that Wonderland I imagine when "the cameras are off" and truly bad things happen that can't be laughed off. However, it's still Wonderland, so there are still all of the zany things.

ANYWAY, posted it under cut. Tell me what you think, AIW friends.

( Wonderland Turns Really Dramatic )

Part 4 is sixteen pages, twice as long as the average of the others, which is why it took me a day (or two) longer than I thought it would. I was running out of steam writing this much! I mean seriously, I wrote 41pgs in a week. lol It's freaking insane. If I could just have the ability to do that for HT, I could stop being behind.

Anyway... I didn't painstakingly add the intended italics to the posted version yet because I was hoping for opinions that I could use to fix it if anyone thought it needed fixing. I did a couple scenes out of order and I wasn't sure if it all flowed just right and was a satisfactory ending. I hope it's enjoyable, though, even if you have some critique! ♥

Never wrote H/H like that before. It's fun. :3

( A Hatter's Obligation - Part 4 )

Favorite Quote(s)

Their eyes appeared between shadows of items on shelves, looking for each other between isles, which lead to fast-motion chasing, until Hatter's coat-tail snagged a Santa display and the two were covering their mouths in front of an angry store clerk.

"Hah! You look like you're about to cry."

"Ahahghghgaha!" He giggled. "Well I was watching Oprah before you got here, and..."

"Oh, well that explains everything."

He looked up to the clock, glasses fogged, or perhaps he was only imagining it... the steamy bathroom mirror and sated moaning... "Oh dear God..." He voiced to the clock, on its way to reading 5:38.

Nearby was the comic-book Hatter had bought him, like a symbol of all his solitary orgasms.

"Christmas Eve, cookies, love - sounds about right." He pulled Hare down by the waist, who began to wriggle as Hatter kissed him sloppily all over the temple.

"What?! Wait a minute! We're not going to argue about this?" He tried to push Hatter away but his grip was too strong.

"Nnnope, I think we've argued enough this week," he answered, then pressed his lips back to Hare's forehead.

"But frankly, you and I could make more of a riot out of watching paint dry."

"It's about time." The Queen ended that sentence with a squint towards the sky. "I suppose I can make an exception. Wouldn't want them at my party doing that..."

It's funny how this thing got so freaking long... It's really in the short-story realm now, so I will not be posting it on ff.net as a single part one-shot. I mean... who ever heard of a one-shot that was 30-40 pages?!

Well, I'll say it like it's completely new since I know some people on this journal don't hear from me anywhere else: Richard Kuhlman/Cheshire Cat sent me a tape of AIW outtakes, from 1993, with a note on the case from Patrick Richwood/Rabbit. It was loopy cursive saying "ENJOY!". XD

You know, I haven't been writing for AIW at all, I haven't had time to watch it... This whole summer has been hectic. But the bloopers brought me back to sorta this bliss! They make an old show long gone feel like a wonderful gift that is alive as anything could ever be, and I feel so proud to be an AIW fan, and extremely lucky that someone who was there is generous enough to send me this treasure from his past.

So... today I felt ready to write the next part, and I got heavily into shipping H/H, lol. I'm worried the bloopers might've actually done the strengthening of this ship, for some reason I can't even articulate. It's not like anything overtly slashy happened in them... I don't know...

Anyway, it's weird that I'm writing most of this without really sharing. Neither Carrie, nor Rema, nor Glance have seen it (I think?) butttt... I feel really happy with it.

It was going to be a silly one-shot at first.
And it's definitely packed with jokes and pokes at the H/A shippers,
but... I think it got deeper. Because with a parody of that ship, I find myself expressing, with exaggeration of course, my feelings about what it entitles, and reminds me why I wouldn't want Hare with anyone else in my absence. ( Me whining under cut. )

Okay! *clears throat*
Here's the part.

( A Hatter's Obligation - Part 3 )

Favorite Quote(s)

"Well you can mar~ch right back to Hatta~'s and tell him we will not be lending him any more cups of sugar."

"Only if you have advice! If you don't, I'll just be on my love-sickened way!"

"Oh, you might as well tell her. She pretty much suspects. In fact, we've had many conversations about it."

"I wanted to tell Alice I was really really sorry for being so forward yesterday and... maybe ask if we could just go bowling or something."

"I-I-I thought you were gay."

Hare looked down to his pudgy water-glazed tummy and hugged his knees, frowning at the clear water that had once been filled with grapefruit-scented bubbles.

"When you eat a maple bar and get it all over your face, is she gonna lick the frosting off your nose?"

I decided that the one-shot will probably take four parts instead of three. And who knows! It may be 30 pages or more. I guess I didn't realize how much time I was going to spend on different scenes, but when I think about it I can see how this idea would be lengthier than one about Hare just chasing Hatter around for some sex. XD

Anyway, this second part is surely twice as good as the last. I just started getting really into it. It was honestly much fun making Hatter go around being nervous/enthusiastic about Alice, even if I'm not into this pairing. Hatter's wooing attempts (which'll just get worse) are funny. But soon, somebody else'll be wooing, so stay tuned!

Not writing He's There. I know! I'm waiting for the right night to come to just... go. Like a jet-pack. 2 chapters. SHHHHWHWHH. I need to remind myself to be patient... with myself. ;)

( A Hatter's Obligation - Part 2 )

Favorite Quote(s)

"Hi Your Majesty! ...Aliiiiice! You sure came bright and early! I mean, I had no idea you were going to be here!"

"Caterpillar, I need your help. More than ever before! Even more than that time Hare's head was stuck in my Pasta Salad Tumbler."

The Caterpillar extended his hand to his eyes and rubbed out the sleep. "You know, when I die..." He trailed... "I hope you've all got your lives sorted out."

"It's just... it's just... When she looks at me," he dramatically cooed, "I lose all track of time." Both considered it. "M-more than usual, I mean. I mean usually I'm two hours off, but with her.... ohhh... with her, most certainly three..."

"...You feeling sick, buddy?"

Hare chuckled insincerely. "Nooo..."

"Good, because this is gonna take a lot of work. I don't think we'll be able to do it without the power of song, frankly."

"All done out there?" She tried.

"Oh, uhhh..." He looked to Hare, who slowly shook his head. "Not quite. But you know... I'm a man of cleanliness."

"Haven't you noticed we're highly compatible?! We're both blond, we're both beautiful, let's make some babies!"

"It's complicated." Hare clenched his teeth, and Hatter could sense his frustration. "It's something all mad hatters have to deal with and you, as a march hare, just wouldn't understand."

I started my newest one-shot idea last night and got to a certain point today where I thought it'd be a good break off. I think it's going to be longer than That Time of Year, but no more than 25pgs.

Anyway! The story takes ideas from a conversation I had with fignewtonrabbid as well as a little roleplay we did about Hare coming to the palace to find out how he should break his feelings to Hatter. The former conversation is under cut...

( Read more... )

Synopsis: Hare realizes, after many many years of a suggestive friendship, that Hatter would've been with him if he weren't "obligated" to end up with Older!Alice, after she returns and is incredibly hot.

You could say this is a bit like the pending He Loves You Not except that this one falls under the category of direct parody of Hatter/Alice, the way it has been depicted in other fanfictions. He Loves You Not is going to feature the Older!Alice that I (and Kate) interpret ourselves. Plus that one has a bunch of fighting and underwear. XD

I can't decide yet if Hatter/Alice shippers are going to find this offensive or hilarious, but... Well, there's a gamble for every fic I post, isn't there?

( A Hatter's Obligation - Part 1 )

Favorite Quote(s)

"This is exactly what he wants out of us. Now can you let go of my arm? It likes to be circulated." (taken from Lily!)

"So he's...d-d...Dr. Dormouse now?"

"Funny little world, idn't it?"

"I make hats, you know."

"Alice was a little girl. Come on, Hare. Get with the program."

I've been trying to get the juices flowing so I decided I would write this one-shot idea for Adventures in Wonderland I've had in mind for a really long time. The only thing I knew about what I would write beforehand was the reason why I had the idea.

The origin of the term "mad as a March hare" comes from the fact that hares, according to Annotated Alice, breed in spring, or, March, I guess... So I thought Hare should abide by that rule and become explosively sexual during that time. A little inspiration comes from that episode of Family Guy called Lethal Weapons where Lois learns taekwondo. XD

I'll need to do the rest later, so this is the first half. It was fun! It's a side to the characters I don't usually explore.


( That Time of Year - Part 1 )

THAT TIME OF YEAR
A One-Shot by Yours Truly
(Part 1)



A warm Wonderland breeze hit Tweedle-Dum as he reclined in his hammock in front of the house. Tweedle-Dee was nearby, laying in his own and tossing a ball into the air, bored out of his mind.

"You know..." Dum started up, "If someone were writing a story about us, this would be a really bad time to start."

Dee rolled his eyes, but played along.

"Yeah, and that would be a really bad line to start it with."

"Really? I think it'd be a little bit... clever..." Dum trailed. Dee thought a moment, then tossed him the ball before he was prepared to catch it and it soared off into the yard behind him. Dum sighed a little and went for it, squatting in front of some bushes and digging around. At this moment, a grey hand emerged from the leaves, presenting the ball to him with some sort of indifference in its manner.

"WOAH!-" Dum threw himself backwards.

"Shhh! It's okay!" The bush reassured. This just alarmed Dum even more. "It's me! Hatter!"

By then Dee had made his way over.

"What the fuck is- ... Hatter?" Hatter rose from the bush just a bit. His face was now covered in scratches. "Would it.... would it be too prying to ask what you're doing?" Dee asked, eyebrow raised.

"I-I know what it looks like. I promise I wasn't spying on you. That was a one time thing," Hatter reasoned in all seriousness.

The Tweedles glanced at each other uncomfortably and extended their arms to Hatter, who nervously stepped out, looking in each direction, even far off in the distance, as they lead him to the front door. "Here's your ball," he offered again to Dum.



They gathered in the kitchen, though the silence seemed to be creeping up on Hatter the most, who obviously had some explaining to do.

The Tweedles continuously sent him side-long glances, but all he did was dart his eyes around and cross his arms, twitching every so often.

"Uhm... oh shit, I guess I have to be the one..." Dee trailed. "...Something wrong?"

"No!" Hatter insisted, pained.

Dum eyed a nearby clock.

"You don't have any tea parties to get to?"

Hatter bit his lip and turned his head ever so slightly. "They're... canceled."

"Iiiighh..." The Tweedles looked at each other again.

"Sayyy!" Hatter broke out, "mind if I hang out here a while?!" He swished his hands cheerily.

"I... m'ughm... Sure. We weren't doing anything," Dee said.

"Great!" Hatter came out into the living room and the two confused hosts followed, watching him as he shut himself inside a closet. Silence followed.

"...Hatter?" Dee asked to the closed door. "I know this is kind of a stretch, but are you... hiding from someone?"

Nobody answered.

"Because if you are, you can just tell us."

"If we knew what we were hiding you from, i-it might actually help," Dum added.

Still, there was no response.

"Are you and the hare having a fight, or something?" Dee tried.

The door slowly cracked open after a pregnant pause. Hatter's blue-green eye was visible in the shadow.

"It's not a fight, but it's just as lethal."

The two stared at the eye, without the slightest clue what he meant.

"...It's March 1st."

"...Yes it is!" Dum confirmed.

"And tomorrow will be March 2nd!"

"That's really too far ahead for me to conceive at this moment," Hatter said through the crack. "Every day is a battlefield!"

"Hatter, come on, this is ridiculous! What's going on between you two?!"

"I TOLD you!" Hatter whined, opening the door and waving his arms around at them. "It's March! The ultimate month of sex for hares!" He exclaimed.

"...Wha-"

"Hare's in heat!"

At that, Dum looked like he was about to throw up in his mouth.

"Last year I barely made it out alive," he continued, fingers curling. "I thought I could handle it, being as fantabulously sexual as I am, but by day sixteen, it was like I had been playing ultimate sports nonstop, you know like that episode of Spongebob with Sandy before hibernation... except with sex... Ogughgh... He made me feel like the woman!"

Suddenly Hatter was sobbing on the floor. Normally, the Tweedles would've came at him and gave him some reassuring pats on the shoulder, but today they seemed reluctant now to even touch each other, in completely platonic ways.

They waited for the crying to die down, but Hatter kept at it.

"Why don't you just... tell him no... " Dum started, "you know, like-"

"'No' is just foreplay to him!... All I have to do is blink a certain way and he considers it cue-"

"O-okay, okay, uhm..." Dum tried to talk him through it. Dee leaned into the back of the couch and bit his nails a little.

Before anyone could make any more suggestions, there was knocking on the door. Hatter's whines stifled and he backed up into the closet again, reaching up for the handle and closing the door in front of him. After a hesitant pause, the Tweedles came to the door and looked through the peephole. Nobody but a bedraggled white rabbit was at the porch so they opened up. He met eyes with both of them before anybody spoke.

"...Can we help you?" Dee asked.

"I'm looking for Hatta~."

Their eyes enlarged.

"Oh God, you too? I thought it was just hares-" Dee quickly slapped his hand over Dum's mouth.

"Hahahahaha! Isn't Dum an idiot?" Dee joked. Dum's brow dropped.

Rabbit didn't know how to answer that one so he put a hand on his hip and waited for a legitimate answer to his question.

"Sorry, we haven't seen him. Why do you ask?"

"Because his buddy~... turned the entire courtyard upside down looking for him and now the Queen is pissed! Why else would I care to look for him?!"

They weren't prepared for his snarkiness.

"Uhh..."

"If you happen to see him, the Queen says to return him to He'a~ immediately. Neither of us have time for this bullshit today. Her Majesty has a ball to plan and an interview with Wonderland Homes and Gardens."

"Alright..."

The bunny awkwardly made his way down the porch steps and rolled away before Dee closed the door.

"Shit. What now? With the Queen in on this, there's no way he can hide, for long..."

"Well I don't see why not, we just lied to him and Hatter's still in our closet-" Dum tried, but Dee wasn't paying attention.

"Listen Hatter," he said, opening the door. "Dum and I will go find Hare. We won't tell him where you are, we'll just talk to him. Calm him down. I-It's just you he wants to have sex with, ...right?"

"Who else in Wonderland would anyone want to have sex with?..." Hatter asked himself, although he was sitting on the floor hugging his knees all the while.

Dee narrowed his eyes at the assumption before closing the door again.

"Come on, let's go."

"M-maybe we should bring some kind of repellent... just in case... Like some garlic, or something."

Dee scoffed. "He's a horny hare, not a vampire."

They came out the front door and started walking down the path. "If there was reason to worry, I guess he would've already been mounting Rabbit," Dee added, thoughtfully.

"Hah! Not a sight I'd particularly like to see..."

"I'd have to douse my eyes with bleach."

They continued on their way, trying to laugh it off as best they could, unaware of what lied ahead.

* * *

Some time later, Hatter was spinning a thimble he'd found in his pocket on the closet floor when he heard the front door burst open. His whole body went stiff as a group of feet scampered around the entry way and the door slammed closed. Hatter put his ear to the crack, but there was unusual silence on the outside.

"It's just us, Hatter," Dum's voice said, surprisingly close to the door. Hatter shot into the back end of the closet like he'd just been suctioned before he realized he was safe. When he opened the door about half way, he could see Dum walking away, seemingly exhausted, and kerplunking on the couch near Dee, and...

"Alice?!" The disturbed gaze she had on the coffee table came to an end when she heard her name called. Her eyes began to wander in his direction, slowly, wistfully, as if Hatter might have some answer to her existence. "What the fuck is she doing here?!"

"We saw him..." Dee began, his body dramatically lain over the love seat. "We thought he might be at your house, waiting at the tea table... But he wasn't there... We tried the palace... He had been sent off..."

"So we continued to look for him..." Dum added, his voice equally dead. "And there he was..."

"Like a demon lurking the forest! Eyes a'glow!"

"I don't question my life very often... But that man... that bunny-man... emanated such a raw dangerous passion..." The group seemed to stop a moment to raise their eyebrows at Dum, except for Alice. She no longer looked present in the moment.

"And poor Alice..." Dee continued. "Had no idea that Hare was in such an unapproachable state... She witnessed a horror nobody should..."

Dum leaned over and clutched her by the shoulders. "It's okay, Alice... you're with us now."




Favorite Quote(s)

"That's really too far ahead for me to conceive at this moment," Hatter said through the crack. "Every day is a battlefield!"

"It was like I had been playing ultimate sports nonstop, you know like that episode of Spongebob with Sandy before hibernation... except with sex..."

"I-It's just you he wants to have sex with, ...right?"

"Who else in Wonderland would anyone want to have sex with?..."