Hiiii....
So, good news: I just did my last work day of the year and am now on a stay-ca until after Jan. 2nd-ish. Huzzah.
Bad news: I didn't make it through in one piece. I have either contracted a cold or seriously somehow thrashed my voice just by having to talk more loudly yesterday because the store was so busy. I lean towards thinking it's a cold, because I do not understand how my throat would hurt this bad throughout the entire night, to such a degree that I had to get up and take Tylenol to sooth the pain.
Hopefully it's just an absurd thrashing, and not a cold, and not covid, because if it's either of the latter two when I'm trying to enjoy my stay-ca, I'm going to be PISSED and ask for a redo. lol I NEED to be well during this time. Things need to be done.
☆ Namely, a proper cleaning and purge of the apartment. I've decided it's time for some old shit that I've hoarded to be cleared out. And no more ADHD piles - not of paper, art supplies, or shoes.
Yes, I think maybe I have had adult ADHD for a while. A lot of dysfunction in my personal life seems to come from things that describe this condition. A friend I have in the medical field (my former UO roommate, Kristen!) says she has it as well, and was explaining medication options to me, and she said that even upping my Wellbutrin could help with ADHD symptoms, which are likely brought about by my depression/anxiety. I do not have hyperactivity, just attention and memory issues.
☆ Another thing that needs to get done is... some more planning of future projects.
~ ~ ~
A bit of that has been getting done already. There is a master to-do list for the Wonderland AU series, and another file I'm working on that will list all of the main stories it will contain. AND there is also a lengthy plot description being drafted for one of those main stories (the introduction of Dodgson!)
In preparation, I have been re-reading In the Shadow of the Dreamchild, and it is rather amazing that the caricature of Dodgson that endures to this day has not actually strayed so far from the impression of him that I got from this book. I was concerned that I had turned him into something else, but... no... this feisty, finicky man of such duel-nature is right there in the pages.
Also in preparation, I've continued reading Jenna and I's chat logs. Every time I'm there reading, it feels like it's that time again, and my heart feels full again while simultaneously aching. Such a pain, this heart of mine. The logs continue to affirm my memory, just as Dreamchild does. Two bosom friends, who are both clever and passionate, bouncing ideas off each other all the time, and opening up about personal things. I notice that my anxiety was not as bad back then, and I had a healthy handle on how to deal with assholes or less than favorable situations. When we weren't joking about Rabbit's adorable fuzzy bunny butt, or talking about the things I was learning about Max Schreck, or discussing the drama going on in her family, we were repeatedly coming back to the idea of enduring importance of passions and friendships, to us. Neither of us could understand why online friends just stopped checking in, or why people just suddenly were over things that had meant so much. It's ironic to read that, given that she ghosted me one day, 3+ years ago. I don't know what to make of it.
A part of me considers that perhaps she will show up one day, wanting to check in, if it really was a rock-bottom/self-hatred thing that kept her from doing it before.
Whether she does or not, drafting anything for this series has felt good and natural. It hasn't been difficult. I think they will be good stories, and I'm getting closer and closer to being ready to write them.
~ ~ ~
Anyway, that's as far as I've gotten. Hopefully after the next ten days I will be all set up for 2022, for this project and others. For now, I need to take care of myself a little, and get ready to drop some things off at Good Will, and then go inside and see if I can find a good red scarf. Hatter needs it so he can do a short Christmas shoot tomorrow! *sigh* Today and tomorrow may also be my last chance to run errands, because the forecast says it'll be lots of freezing cold temperatures and snow! Luckily, I got all the food I need last night before I left work. WOULD NOT WANT TO STARVE DURING AN ICE STORM AGAIN LIKE LAST YEAR.
Alrighty, take care now. Toodles.
-J
So, good news: I just did my last work day of the year and am now on a stay-ca until after Jan. 2nd-ish. Huzzah.
Bad news: I didn't make it through in one piece. I have either contracted a cold or seriously somehow thrashed my voice just by having to talk more loudly yesterday because the store was so busy. I lean towards thinking it's a cold, because I do not understand how my throat would hurt this bad throughout the entire night, to such a degree that I had to get up and take Tylenol to sooth the pain.
Hopefully it's just an absurd thrashing, and not a cold, and not covid, because if it's either of the latter two when I'm trying to enjoy my stay-ca, I'm going to be PISSED and ask for a redo. lol I NEED to be well during this time. Things need to be done.
☆ Namely, a proper cleaning and purge of the apartment. I've decided it's time for some old shit that I've hoarded to be cleared out. And no more ADHD piles - not of paper, art supplies, or shoes.
Yes, I think maybe I have had adult ADHD for a while. A lot of dysfunction in my personal life seems to come from things that describe this condition. A friend I have in the medical field (my former UO roommate, Kristen!) says she has it as well, and was explaining medication options to me, and she said that even upping my Wellbutrin could help with ADHD symptoms, which are likely brought about by my depression/anxiety. I do not have hyperactivity, just attention and memory issues.
☆ Another thing that needs to get done is... some more planning of future projects.
~ ~ ~
A bit of that has been getting done already. There is a master to-do list for the Wonderland AU series, and another file I'm working on that will list all of the main stories it will contain. AND there is also a lengthy plot description being drafted for one of those main stories (the introduction of Dodgson!)
In preparation, I have been re-reading In the Shadow of the Dreamchild, and it is rather amazing that the caricature of Dodgson that endures to this day has not actually strayed so far from the impression of him that I got from this book. I was concerned that I had turned him into something else, but... no... this feisty, finicky man of such duel-nature is right there in the pages.
Also in preparation, I've continued reading Jenna and I's chat logs. Every time I'm there reading, it feels like it's that time again, and my heart feels full again while simultaneously aching. Such a pain, this heart of mine. The logs continue to affirm my memory, just as Dreamchild does. Two bosom friends, who are both clever and passionate, bouncing ideas off each other all the time, and opening up about personal things. I notice that my anxiety was not as bad back then, and I had a healthy handle on how to deal with assholes or less than favorable situations. When we weren't joking about Rabbit's adorable fuzzy bunny butt, or talking about the things I was learning about Max Schreck, or discussing the drama going on in her family, we were repeatedly coming back to the idea of enduring importance of passions and friendships, to us. Neither of us could understand why online friends just stopped checking in, or why people just suddenly were over things that had meant so much. It's ironic to read that, given that she ghosted me one day, 3+ years ago. I don't know what to make of it.
A part of me considers that perhaps she will show up one day, wanting to check in, if it really was a rock-bottom/self-hatred thing that kept her from doing it before.
Whether she does or not, drafting anything for this series has felt good and natural. It hasn't been difficult. I think they will be good stories, and I'm getting closer and closer to being ready to write them.
~ ~ ~
Anyway, that's as far as I've gotten. Hopefully after the next ten days I will be all set up for 2022, for this project and others. For now, I need to take care of myself a little, and get ready to drop some things off at Good Will, and then go inside and see if I can find a good red scarf. Hatter needs it so he can do a short Christmas shoot tomorrow! *sigh* Today and tomorrow may also be my last chance to run errands, because the forecast says it'll be lots of freezing cold temperatures and snow! Luckily, I got all the food I need last night before I left work. WOULD NOT WANT TO STARVE DURING AN ICE STORM AGAIN LIKE LAST YEAR.
Alrighty, take care now. Toodles.
-J
Current Mood: 
sick
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