I haven't updated since July -- lordy lordy lord, how should I even start?
*throws hands up* I would first say that I'm doing better and things are looking up. If I recall correctly, in July I was trying desperately to find a new job, and getting nowhere. There was a stay-cation which was first productive and then unraveled. Life was all around stressful for reasons that may not be relatable, such as loathing my cashiering job / the sun / myself.
Well, I'm not a cashier anymore! A cute and fateful little thing happened, where the Wellness (supplement and beauty care) department had an opening and the manager asked me specifically if I was interested in applying. She must have really preferred me, because I was hired the same day I was interviewed, and now, here I am -- been doing it for almost two months. As a cashier, I was needing to take 40mg of CBD a day before my shift in order to look people in the eye / not fall apart as soon as I got there, but now, I take very little, maybe pop a gummy once a week, and do just fine, so there's your indicator.
I really am enjoying it for the most part. The position mostly entails walking our three aisles, facing and stocking them, getting to know our products, and helping people find what they need. We're not doctors, so there isn't pressure to understand people's ailments to such a degree that we're picking products for them or promising that anything will work. Actually, in a lot of cases, I'm just there to investigate with customers, and/or read and compare labels. Overall, there is just a whole lot less pressure and anxiety, with this job, since we don't see enough customers to get socially burnt out, and in our down time we can really focus on what we're doing and go at a pace that works for us. I can stop and smell the flowers, again. Sit down (yes, sit!) at our computer and just learn about products, because it is my job to know what we have and how it works. I can pick an essential oil for the diffuser, or help people try out make-up. XD Also, we get a ton of samples. I have more CBD than I will ever need, and now have all these facial serums and creams in my bathroom. XD I'm taking vitamins now that I wasn't before. I bought a scar serum that seems to be working. My boss(es) have learned that I have occasional flare-ups with my IBS so they are ordering in a probiotic and an enzyme for me to try. It warms my heart! I love both of them. Of course, I knew them more casually since we have worked in the same store for a while, but being under their wing is really a cozy place.
Now, the holidays have begun, and the departments that I used to be in are bracing themselves, but not us. I mean, we have an obligatory black-out period with the schedule, but we're not expected to experience a huge influx, even while our products are a lot of things that could be lovely gifts. ;) Supposedly, we are just going to support other departments, when we can.
Do I sound relaxed? I am feeling quite relaxed.
When the pace of my work life changed, so did off-the-clock life. My body is not totally wrecked after even a long day in Wellness. My brain is not experiencing whiplash when I clock in and out, because it is not overburdened or over-stimulated. I wouldn't say my work is super exciting all the time, or even what I want to do indefinitely, but while I'm there I still feel like it's my life, that I'm in my body, can continue to be aware how I feel, and to think about things I was thinking about before I clocked in. This has been huge. I feel in control and like I'm getting enough rest, experiencing enough stability that taking care of myself is easier.
I'm running out of time, here, so creative stuff will have to come later, but health-wise, I'm.. okay. I have been experiencing some intense burning here or there that concerns me, and the other day I was face-down in a sweat on the bathroom floor in abysmal intestinal pain and don't know why, but I swear to god, truly, I have had fewer constant issues, fewer migraines. A lot of my hair has fallen out, while I wait months and months to see a thyroid specialist, but last night when showering, a whole pile of hair *didn't* come out for once. Hm... I know it takes a while for our hair to react to what we do to our bodies, so maybe... well, I don't want to have premature hope.
More later.
-J
*throws hands up* I would first say that I'm doing better and things are looking up. If I recall correctly, in July I was trying desperately to find a new job, and getting nowhere. There was a stay-cation which was first productive and then unraveled. Life was all around stressful for reasons that may not be relatable, such as loathing my cashiering job / the sun / myself.
Well, I'm not a cashier anymore! A cute and fateful little thing happened, where the Wellness (supplement and beauty care) department had an opening and the manager asked me specifically if I was interested in applying. She must have really preferred me, because I was hired the same day I was interviewed, and now, here I am -- been doing it for almost two months. As a cashier, I was needing to take 40mg of CBD a day before my shift in order to look people in the eye / not fall apart as soon as I got there, but now, I take very little, maybe pop a gummy once a week, and do just fine, so there's your indicator.
I really am enjoying it for the most part. The position mostly entails walking our three aisles, facing and stocking them, getting to know our products, and helping people find what they need. We're not doctors, so there isn't pressure to understand people's ailments to such a degree that we're picking products for them or promising that anything will work. Actually, in a lot of cases, I'm just there to investigate with customers, and/or read and compare labels. Overall, there is just a whole lot less pressure and anxiety, with this job, since we don't see enough customers to get socially burnt out, and in our down time we can really focus on what we're doing and go at a pace that works for us. I can stop and smell the flowers, again. Sit down (yes, sit!) at our computer and just learn about products, because it is my job to know what we have and how it works. I can pick an essential oil for the diffuser, or help people try out make-up. XD Also, we get a ton of samples. I have more CBD than I will ever need, and now have all these facial serums and creams in my bathroom. XD I'm taking vitamins now that I wasn't before. I bought a scar serum that seems to be working. My boss(es) have learned that I have occasional flare-ups with my IBS so they are ordering in a probiotic and an enzyme for me to try. It warms my heart! I love both of them. Of course, I knew them more casually since we have worked in the same store for a while, but being under their wing is really a cozy place.
Now, the holidays have begun, and the departments that I used to be in are bracing themselves, but not us. I mean, we have an obligatory black-out period with the schedule, but we're not expected to experience a huge influx, even while our products are a lot of things that could be lovely gifts. ;) Supposedly, we are just going to support other departments, when we can.
Do I sound relaxed? I am feeling quite relaxed.
When the pace of my work life changed, so did off-the-clock life. My body is not totally wrecked after even a long day in Wellness. My brain is not experiencing whiplash when I clock in and out, because it is not overburdened or over-stimulated. I wouldn't say my work is super exciting all the time, or even what I want to do indefinitely, but while I'm there I still feel like it's my life, that I'm in my body, can continue to be aware how I feel, and to think about things I was thinking about before I clocked in. This has been huge. I feel in control and like I'm getting enough rest, experiencing enough stability that taking care of myself is easier.
I'm running out of time, here, so creative stuff will have to come later, but health-wise, I'm.. okay. I have been experiencing some intense burning here or there that concerns me, and the other day I was face-down in a sweat on the bathroom floor in abysmal intestinal pain and don't know why, but I swear to god, truly, I have had fewer constant issues, fewer migraines. A lot of my hair has fallen out, while I wait months and months to see a thyroid specialist, but last night when showering, a whole pile of hair *didn't* come out for once. Hm... I know it takes a while for our hair to react to what we do to our bodies, so maybe... well, I don't want to have premature hope.
More later.
-J
Current Mood: 
content
content3 comments | Leave a comment