I'm not sure what the hell I'm gonna do in these three remaining weeks of summer. T&J's chapter 8 stalled me, and then I lost track of time. We've written 52 pages for CP3, but knowing that a whole month we did nothing, I don't look at the number and go "cool, that's a lot of work", because it's half what we could've done. There's no way that this won't continue into Autumn, though. I'll write it whenever Kate's up for it.

I didn't do any S.S. Flavion planning because I understood the gravity of the situation. It'll have to wait to be even planned, so maybe in winter.

I think what needs to be done is relevant to the fact that He's There is returning on September 1st. I absolutely refuse to get lazy with it... I enjoy it, I'm excited for it, it has fans... I'm doing it, end of subject. But I can't just immediately know what I'm doing and write chapter 19 on the very day. There are a few things very necessary to coming back.

1.) I have to read all 109 pages that exist right now. I must be completely familiar with what I was up to from August 2007 to March 2008.

2.) I have to take massive notes, like it's a lecture in school, about anything that definitely continues into what I write next. If Lily's reading something (which she is), there must be mention of it again. What has she been doing, thinking about, etc? I know she has a job now, for instance. Anything like that, I have to write down so I have a collection of stuff that is her situation, despite my goals for the roleplay.

3.) I have to think about where I'm likely to go or want to go by the end of this writing bought, and make clear plans that build up to it. This means actually coming up with plot. What actually happens in this story is pretty much nothing besides talking and thinking, at this point. I'm mad at myself that I can't come up with events, but it may just be because I'm not forcing myself to sit down, solely to think of possibilities. I won't tell myself "I'm just not creative enough". I have to have it in me, right?

4.) Lastly, I should try writing the first chapter upon returning before the date, so then I'm ready to submit it and have extra time to get myself together and get in a rhythm.


Now obviously, if I do this, it means I won't even be taking a stab at T&J at all, and it will be stored away for another time. That makes me feel like shit, if you can imagine. No doubt it does, but practically speaking, HT needs those four steps done before three weeks from now. I'll be lenient enough to say that in Spring 2009, T&J will be in again. A writer is supposed to have discipline, and I just probably don't... But you know, maybe I'll feel differently about the worth of T&J being back-burner'ed if I actually get super far with He's There. I worked so hard on it last time and with such a passion. If I can do that again, which I want to, (finishing this would be a dream come true), it may just be completed within a year. Or less? I don't know. I want to say that I can be fast again, but I'm no Stephenie Meyer. I take time out to actually develop my world and characters. Things aren't simple enough for it to just pour from my brain like diarrhea.

Okay, that was my bit of humor for the day. I had a flat mouth the whole time I wrote this entry, and then I typed that and stifled immature laughter.

Anyway...I've got to get it together... that's what I need. When I started last year... Well. It's kind of like. There are several parts to writing a long story. There's the introduction, and I don't mean the first paragraph or chapter...I mean explaining everything about the people and what's going to happen. Knowing them, knowing what's starting... For me, it went all the way up to about chapter seven or eight. Then there's adding to your introduced premise, and that is when you know this well enough to start tying various dangling strings that you've created. When things are all tied together, sometimes the climax just comes naturally. You know which ones that you need to take out a giant pair of scissors for and sever for that ending. When I started last year, my primary goal came from the fact that it had to be restarted, and I was plenty good at reintroducing everything and going from there. As the last months came along though, I realized something was making me run thin. It was because I should've been developing how I would tie these strings. I should be taking everything I've created in those 18 chapters and putting together what it ought to be, so becoming that is way clearer.

I've talked a lot. Nobody's reading this but myself. XD Not that I mind. I'm glad I straightened it out, though. Sometimes you know something you're doing is wrong and know you have to fix it, but the answer is buried within you and you can't reach it unless you...strangely enough, write it all down.