I'm feeling kind of strange about my writing lately... I mean, I've had a whole week of spring break to write a new chapter, and I haven't, so it's not a matter of time... But wait - maybe it is... I'm worried that having so often BEEN busy or having to tackle a big homework assignment, my brain has gone into constant "there's no time, stay away from that" mode.
Take He's There for example. When I write this story, the room I'm in disappears, mostly. Some people (I think mainly of a guy I met recently) can write and then decide they want to take a break after a couple hours and then that's that. He can break out of the scene. But for me, if things are going how they should, I can't break out of it. I could sit in front of my laptop, in the BATHROOM (yes, I like how it looks in there with a candle, so I bring in a dining table chair and sit at the counter, how weird am I), for four hours, as I did last week. In that time, all I really know is what's happening with the characters, and I sort of... I don't know... breathe them. It's very easy to figure out what they would say to each other because I'm almost there, acting them both out. Walking to each side of the room and putting on a new voice, like the Queen did in the last episode of Adventures in Wonderland. lol Then, by the time the whole chapter is done, I feel almost euphoric that there is a new installment and that I was able to do it seemingly so quickly, before I look at the clock and see it is almost midnight and I've skipped dinner, and a number of other important things I was supposed to do.
(In fact that night I was supposed to call my childhood friend Erick who wanted to catch up. And I heard my phone ring at about 10:00 but I didn't answer and I said to the air: "I'M SORRY, BUT THIS ERIK COMES BEFORE YOU." Oh man...)
Anyway... I tell myself that I will soon be returning for the next chapter, but then I don't, because I very easily slip back into my world and like... forget the intensity of where I left off. When I wrote this story 2 years ago, it wasn't like that at all. Pretty much all the time I thought of the characters and what I was going to write next and all these things reminded me, and I'd sit on heat vents with my coffee at nine in the morning, talking to myself about it. Now, I don't do that at all. I have passing thoughts, and sometimes I think "god, this will be interesting," and "can't wait to write that," or I'll tweak things in my head, but it isn't nearly the same level of obsession, and I kind of miss it because it helped me be consistent with updates, and when I'm consistent with updates of any kind, I feel like I'm doing my job as a human being. I feel complete and inspired and happy.
Also, with Us Against the World, my AIW fic, I've reached a point I don't know how to continue and I keep telling myself not to dare trying to just get past it for the next day because so far I've been proud of the fact that I've taken advantage of the comedic potential in every scene. What I've appreciated most about the fic so far is that it doesn't reach a dull point, and I don't want it to. I want it to all be my best, when I'm inspired, so having a 'bump' that has left me uninspired SUCKS...
I wish I could write both of these at the same time and update every week... but that could never happen... I've got to find a third class to take this Spring and when I do, my schedule would never allow it...
It'd be nice to have my shit together AT LEAST during Spring break, but it's Friday and it won't happen. I'm going to try, though... to set myself up tonight, put the tea on the stove, and just do it. May have to be revised later though.
Does it make me less of a writer that I can't spew things out? Authors have to make their living having a novel out like once every year or two... What have I completed in the last 7 years of being a writer? Well... one loooong fanfic, one 50pg short story... also a fanfic, and one movie script. I love the short story and the script, but I thought I'd have more by now.
Take He's There for example. When I write this story, the room I'm in disappears, mostly. Some people (I think mainly of a guy I met recently) can write and then decide they want to take a break after a couple hours and then that's that. He can break out of the scene. But for me, if things are going how they should, I can't break out of it. I could sit in front of my laptop, in the BATHROOM (yes, I like how it looks in there with a candle, so I bring in a dining table chair and sit at the counter, how weird am I), for four hours, as I did last week. In that time, all I really know is what's happening with the characters, and I sort of... I don't know... breathe them. It's very easy to figure out what they would say to each other because I'm almost there, acting them both out. Walking to each side of the room and putting on a new voice, like the Queen did in the last episode of Adventures in Wonderland. lol Then, by the time the whole chapter is done, I feel almost euphoric that there is a new installment and that I was able to do it seemingly so quickly, before I look at the clock and see it is almost midnight and I've skipped dinner, and a number of other important things I was supposed to do.
(In fact that night I was supposed to call my childhood friend Erick who wanted to catch up. And I heard my phone ring at about 10:00 but I didn't answer and I said to the air: "I'M SORRY, BUT THIS ERIK COMES BEFORE YOU." Oh man...)
Anyway... I tell myself that I will soon be returning for the next chapter, but then I don't, because I very easily slip back into my world and like... forget the intensity of where I left off. When I wrote this story 2 years ago, it wasn't like that at all. Pretty much all the time I thought of the characters and what I was going to write next and all these things reminded me, and I'd sit on heat vents with my coffee at nine in the morning, talking to myself about it. Now, I don't do that at all. I have passing thoughts, and sometimes I think "god, this will be interesting," and "can't wait to write that," or I'll tweak things in my head, but it isn't nearly the same level of obsession, and I kind of miss it because it helped me be consistent with updates, and when I'm consistent with updates of any kind, I feel like I'm doing my job as a human being. I feel complete and inspired and happy.
Also, with Us Against the World, my AIW fic, I've reached a point I don't know how to continue and I keep telling myself not to dare trying to just get past it for the next day because so far I've been proud of the fact that I've taken advantage of the comedic potential in every scene. What I've appreciated most about the fic so far is that it doesn't reach a dull point, and I don't want it to. I want it to all be my best, when I'm inspired, so having a 'bump' that has left me uninspired SUCKS...
I wish I could write both of these at the same time and update every week... but that could never happen... I've got to find a third class to take this Spring and when I do, my schedule would never allow it...
It'd be nice to have my shit together AT LEAST during Spring break, but it's Friday and it won't happen. I'm going to try, though... to set myself up tonight, put the tea on the stove, and just do it. May have to be revised later though.
Does it make me less of a writer that I can't spew things out? Authors have to make their living having a novel out like once every year or two... What have I completed in the last 7 years of being a writer? Well... one loooong fanfic, one 50pg short story... also a fanfic, and one movie script. I love the short story and the script, but I thought I'd have more by now.
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