Okay! I have actually decided what will happen by each chapter in HT up to 60. We all know that it's mainly a guideline, I'm not putting THAT much pressure and strict structure on myself, but I think it really benefits me in terms of remembering everything on its way and not getting too behind with that. The next five chapters are looking a little sketchy... but... I got tired yesterday because it took so long. XD I was taking all of the info and ideas from two documents I have in my He's There folder, one which was chronological plot ideas, the other was reminders for just things that could happen, along with quotes, and just... it was a mess because I already also had a document with quotes/excerpts.

Now things seem a lot more organized, but I still find myself a little intimidated. Even the plot plans for each chapter don't incorporate all the things I know should be gone over, in more of a character-psychological sense. I just hope that I'm not leaving out big things that would disappoint a reader not to have. I guess that's what editing's for. It's hard to remember you're just finishing a first draft when people are reading it as you write it though. :D

Anyway, it's interesting how things will change around Chapter 45. I was remembering how I said The Phantom was acting a lot like Charles, but the thing is probably that... he projects like Charles very well but still has a heart like Robert's. Much more possessive and violent and impatient than he would ever let on. That part reminded me of ALW's Phantom (especially the recording I have of Reece Holland (thanks operaghostess!) and Robert Guillaume as Erik) where there's the chords of the music stretching on lowly and Erik goes "You tried my.. patience..." Aughhh, so DARK! With so much more authority than had ever been there before. Sends shivers down my spine. lol At some point HT's just going to snowball. I'm excited!

I've meant to have Chapter 39 done with but I'm thinking I want to rework it, surprisingly. I don't usually write almost a full chapter and then decide the ordering of events is crap, but this time I did... Something important's going to happen and I couldn't stand it done incorrectly.

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ANYHOO, this is a post jumping all over the place, but recently I was asked to put a deviation of Robert Phantom (with me) in a POTO group on DA and when I did someone was all like "That phantom sucks, but nice drawing" and then someone else left a nice comment saying they had just seen the version and when I went to their page they had a journal about it, that was half good but just... ripping on petty things like name changes. But they loved the Charles Dance version, which also has name changes, so... Phantom fans are hypocrites all the time, basically. And she said she had no empathy for him at all or even liked him. Granted, she wasn't good at stomaching horror so she thought the killing was over the top, but... Come ON, he's the Phantom. Read the book and hear about him running Christine's fingers down his face until his skin breaks underneath her fingernails.

The conclusion bothered me the most because she said "he's not the REAL Erik" as if 1. She can decide that and 2. There is one. Leroux Erik is if you want to play that way, but I really have enough respect for the movies not to think they are that inferior to their source material. But I highly doubt her claim WAS that Leroux Erik was because her icon and all over her gallery is a chibi Gerard Butler lookalike. Tch.

In conclusion... "Robert isn't accurate at all and I don't like him because he's too different from the fluffy fan-servicing idea of Erik that I've created in my head" = bad argument.

I'm sure some day if I ever get He's There published people will be nagging on me for giving him long hair, or saying I've destroyed all of the true love and appreciation Erik had for Christine by making him a schizophrenic. (Which isn't all that I intended, it's not like his whole mind and heart is being hijacked by his disorder.)

* * *

After reading those things I was kind of annoyed and self-conscious for having a gory clearly-80's-made movie near the top of my list of Phantom related media, but I can admit to appreciating it for some ideas I only wish were included, like a more emotionally intimate relationship between E & C... just a longer movie in general...

And then out of nowhere, I found this awesome music video that seemed to try to show that (with a song that coincidentally made a WONDERFUL Phantom song, not even for just any version but Rob's in PARTICULAR) and I was really cheered up. So I'm putting this in here so I don't forget it!

My favorite part is 2:41 - 2:57. I was like "OMG WOMAN VOICE" because "E/C" duets are sweet, and it made it seem like she was saying it to him and I was like "YES, TAKE HIM THROUGH," and wanted to draw them kissing really badly but didn't have printer paper because I found out my dad had taken the printer with him when he moved out. (grr)

*sigh* I love you, Rob! I don't care what anyone says! Don't be ashamed how bad-ass you are. There is something underneath that was never explored, but I saw it!

Okay, well now that I've blabbered on...

&hearts,
Jennifer