This will seem a little rando, but I don't care.
I've been having all of these bittersweet feelings, and I mean terribly bittersweet, sweet, bitter, sweet, bitter, about AIW cast member John Hoffman. The sweet feelings come from the fact that I adore the character he brought to us, and I adore him as well, I smile whenever I think of him, he was nice enough to add me on facebook twelve whole years ago, and our interactions have always been pleasant. He pops in to say supportive things to me even when the entire stupid fandom won't (for unknown reasons)... Since adding him, I have watched him go from having a sort of ambiguous writing career for lesser known things I wasn't interested in, to now, creating a series with Steve Martin and Martin Short, I mean jfc, he is living a dream. As to be expected, I'm proud of him and know that he deserves all this success (and happiness?) Also, his climbing so many levels in his 50's is hope for me that there's still plenty of time to live my passions if I keep my eye on the prize.
In some funny way, I relate to him and I relate to Hatter, although he said in our interview that there is little about Hatter that he finds relatable. hahah So when I see John succeed, it makes me wonder if maybe I can too.
The bitter feelings: this dumb worry of mine that he's too important now to care about the likes of me or the AIW group. Ain't it silly? Yeah it's silly. It's real silly. The silliest. I'm not sure if anyone else considers him an idol in a way similar to this. I had even hoped to meet him some day, since he (like several cast members) lived in SoCal, where my family also is... but he moved back to NYC. He deactivated FB recently, too, probably because it would be too much to handle on the week his show Only Murders in the Building premiered on Hulu... but now I'm like, "Will he come back?!" "Will he be in touch with our group anymore?" "Is he leaving us little people behind?" But he would be leaving all sorts of people, big and small, including his relatives, behind if he were to stay off FB forever, so it's likely he will come back. I do not feel entitled to John's time or regard, I really don't, but I did love having even just a shred of it all these years.
I was thinking about that a while ago, how crazy it is that he was hanging around with Steve fucking Martin, and then casually from time to time was on Chuckleheads, watching my fan video of "Hatter being adorable for six minutes" and then implying that I was also adorable. And commenting on watermelon teapots I had found that were from the show. You know, it's kind of like being a millionaire but stopping to pick up a penny on the street. He's the millionaire, Steve Martin was the jackpot, and I'm the penny. How long before he realizes I belong on the ground?
That's a terribly shitty thought to have about oneself, which also underestimates his kindness, and humbleness, and gratitude which he has shown all this time, which is clearly just who he is, and that wouldn't change by now.
Chin up, Jenny, come on.
I just saw the first episode, too, and it was delightful. Knowing him even just the little bit that I do, I heard lines that I thought he had probably contributed in the writing, and it's overall such a stylized dramedy, removed from reality just enough that it makes you wonder what is possible out there. When I was done watching, my priorities from hereon out became clearer: I've gotta stick with what may get me somewhere. My short-story-turned-novella needs to be finished. Time to crack down instead of floating around all these fanfics. I know I can get completely engrossed with it again.
Let's have this positive knowledge, hope, and delight carry me through the last workday before the weekend. It's got to.
-J
I've been having all of these bittersweet feelings, and I mean terribly bittersweet, sweet, bitter, sweet, bitter, about AIW cast member John Hoffman. The sweet feelings come from the fact that I adore the character he brought to us, and I adore him as well, I smile whenever I think of him, he was nice enough to add me on facebook twelve whole years ago, and our interactions have always been pleasant. He pops in to say supportive things to me even when the entire stupid fandom won't (for unknown reasons)... Since adding him, I have watched him go from having a sort of ambiguous writing career for lesser known things I wasn't interested in, to now, creating a series with Steve Martin and Martin Short, I mean jfc, he is living a dream. As to be expected, I'm proud of him and know that he deserves all this success (and happiness?) Also, his climbing so many levels in his 50's is hope for me that there's still plenty of time to live my passions if I keep my eye on the prize.
In some funny way, I relate to him and I relate to Hatter, although he said in our interview that there is little about Hatter that he finds relatable. hahah So when I see John succeed, it makes me wonder if maybe I can too.
The bitter feelings: this dumb worry of mine that he's too important now to care about the likes of me or the AIW group. Ain't it silly? Yeah it's silly. It's real silly. The silliest. I'm not sure if anyone else considers him an idol in a way similar to this. I had even hoped to meet him some day, since he (like several cast members) lived in SoCal, where my family also is... but he moved back to NYC. He deactivated FB recently, too, probably because it would be too much to handle on the week his show Only Murders in the Building premiered on Hulu... but now I'm like, "Will he come back?!" "Will he be in touch with our group anymore?" "Is he leaving us little people behind?" But he would be leaving all sorts of people, big and small, including his relatives, behind if he were to stay off FB forever, so it's likely he will come back. I do not feel entitled to John's time or regard, I really don't, but I did love having even just a shred of it all these years.
I was thinking about that a while ago, how crazy it is that he was hanging around with Steve fucking Martin, and then casually from time to time was on Chuckleheads, watching my fan video of "Hatter being adorable for six minutes" and then implying that I was also adorable. And commenting on watermelon teapots I had found that were from the show. You know, it's kind of like being a millionaire but stopping to pick up a penny on the street. He's the millionaire, Steve Martin was the jackpot, and I'm the penny. How long before he realizes I belong on the ground?
That's a terribly shitty thought to have about oneself, which also underestimates his kindness, and humbleness, and gratitude which he has shown all this time, which is clearly just who he is, and that wouldn't change by now.
Chin up, Jenny, come on.
I just saw the first episode, too, and it was delightful. Knowing him even just the little bit that I do, I heard lines that I thought he had probably contributed in the writing, and it's overall such a stylized dramedy, removed from reality just enough that it makes you wonder what is possible out there. When I was done watching, my priorities from hereon out became clearer: I've gotta stick with what may get me somewhere. My short-story-turned-novella needs to be finished. Time to crack down instead of floating around all these fanfics. I know I can get completely engrossed with it again.
Let's have this positive knowledge, hope, and delight carry me through the last workday before the weekend. It's got to.
-J
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