darlingdeathbird
16 December 2021 @ 11:34 am
Only I will notice that after many years titling it "writing perspective"... it's now "creative perspective". Seemed appropriate!

Anyway, wow. Wow wow wow. 

I came blasting into 2021 from a writing canon and was soaring for quite some time. On the night of December 31st, 2020, I had finished a 19k word/62-page AIW fanfic called Rabbit and the Monkey Cups, and my heart was full. I loved the new directions I was taking these long-loved characters, the new sides I was imagining to them. Also, I was reminded that comedy is my favorite and most natural way of expression. 

Following that were a number of other AIW fanfic projects: Meant To Be (a Hatter & Hare origin story), which is something I spent ten years feeling too daunted to attempt and now here it is!; A Royal Affair, a super rando but fun Queenie/Hatter thing just to show what a trainwreck the pairing is; Of Specters and Spectacles, a Halloween themed story to which I wasn't really applying myself tbh; and some continuation of the very incomplete 25 Candles and a Mathematician. None of these was finished but they're off to good starts.

What was finished was a very special fic that I started in 20-fucking-12 called The Passion of the Hot-Tub, which broke all my records for AIW fanfic. At 30k words/104 pages, it's the longest, and to me it's just overall a better story than my previous favorite, Trying Tuesday. Love is given to characters who were being overlooked, shipping takes the back-burner, and despite that I wasn't pressuring myself to turn it into anything in particular so that an audience would like it better, it has a good plot and execution. So yeah, I'm happy! And it gives me hope that, hey, maybe an eBook compilation of AIW stories is possible.

ANYHOO

That was not the only type of writing that was being done this year. Oh, no.

A lot of ground was covered with CRYSTAL PALACE as well. At 65 pages, it's about half done. It's a totally different genre for me, and totally different type of prose, which only came about through experimentation. It feels like something not my own, or not expected from me. I'm excited about it and I do think it could be something published, as long as I stick to it. About halfway into the year, there was too much shit going on with me (the car, my health, my mental health), so not much has gotten done since then, but when I was working on it there was something special going on. My friend and mentor Richard K. was my reader every week, as I had promised him to make updates every week, every Wednesday night. For the most part, that promise was kept, and it was like our secret story. Also, he loved it, and that was really inspiring and motivating for me. Knowing he was invested in everything gave me more to invest in myself. 

Plus, all this cool art got made:
Read more... )

Lastly, about this project, I was able to merge emotionally with the material. I think that's the point you must get to for the story to stand up out of the page and draw investment from its readers: when you have found real experience and emotion to inspire the scenes. At face value, it's a creepy story about an ice palace, about non-human characters, which seems very escapist. The insides, the guts of the story, however, are dripping with extremely familiar feelings: of confinement, abandonment, disillusionment, resentment... stemming from all the things that define your past and future. Richard told me that Akira's red tie reminds him of open veins, or an open wound. At all times, he unknowingly bears his anguish and weakness, his handicap even as this castle's prince. He just wants to find a crack in the walls in which he can ESCAPE, both physical confinement and the confinement of fate. I don't know about anyone else, but I feel that big time. 

Moving on!

The Hatter cosplay. Hooooly shit, the Hatter cosplay. I did it. In January, it was a thing in my diary, a dream that could only manifest through tedium and dedication, no possible shortcuts... and by October, it was real. Well, I don't need to say too much about it because it was documented here, and there are posts on tumblr that I'm making about how the pieces were created, but wow was it a testament to the power I have to make things happen. It was good for my self-esteem. I've come to realize I can do it if I break a project into smaller bites and stay focused, long term. I'm a tortoise, not a hare. The finish line has to be way, way out there, because my health will hold me back, and I'm beginning to suspect I have adult ADHD, but damnit I WILL REACH IT!

One of the things I think that helped was making lists. So many of the lists. And also, staying focused only on the step at hand, going one steady foot after the other. For example, back in May, I knew that I wouldn't be able to make Hatter's jacket until I learned 1.) how to put together a lapel and collar, 2.) the best method for me to get the measurement and pattern pieces right, 3.) how to do jacket lining, 4.) how to do coat-tails, etc. So the steps at the time were "learn about these things", and "make a practice garment". So a tiny suit jacket was made. xD Then a life-size garment was made, to check the fit. Having the room to just gradually figure things out and feel motivated by the success of the smaller projects is what got me to the finish line, ultimately. 

I will have to find a way to work like this with writing.

One new episode of Chit-Chat Snicky-Snack was made... which is... less than I would have hoped, but the project is overall not popular and not appealing to most AIW fans, and that kinda destroyed my motivation after a while. 

Also, I finished several Crazy Ex-Girlfriend sticker designs! And if I can just make a few more, there will be enough for a set to sell on Etsy or something. Unlike the AIW fandom, CXG fans seem to give a shit, so I think the stickers will be well received. It also helps that Vincent Rodriguez III (Josh Chan's actor) saw the one of him and fanboyed about it! It was so sweet; we had a whole moment together on instagram. 

~ ~ ~

Overall, a productive, ground-breaking year for me. I also fulfilled a lot of my personal goals, like to stay more hydrated, treat my skin better, seek out creative jobs (even though I didn't land any), connect with other writers, don't take no mess, and keep it funky. 

Now, onward, to 2022! 

༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
 

✥ I really truly, absolutely want to do more Chit-Chat Snicky-Snack, especially with all those ideas about salad theory that came up a few months ago. lol I wanna do it, I don't care if nobody else cares, I want to do more, and I want to do it in costume. hahahah
 
✥ CRYSTAL PALACE has to be finished, or I'm jumping out a window. Hold me to it. Actually, not just the story: I want to build a website, too. Something all atmospheric and spooky.

✥ I want to finish both Masquerade Jareth (with his coat) and Count Orlok (the whole thing!)

✥ A real project centered around the Wonderland AU would be... personally fulfilling for me. I want to do something with these stories. Organize a timeline and plan what the other stories will be, and write them. Doesn't need to be finished by the end of the year. (I actually already started the how did this all start?! chapter.)

Fanfic-wise, I would also really love to make leeway with A Royal Affair and Meant To Be. They're both off to such great starts. If possible, it'd also be cool to branch out to fanfic for shows I haven't written for before, like What We Do in the Shadows, OR Crazy-Ex-Girlfriend???

Gotta finish that CXG sticker-set. Just gotta. 

✥ Just in general do some more art? It feels like this year was lacking in much art. What would be really miraculous is if I could find myself financially comfortable enough to buy a quality drawing tablet, but whether I have one or not it would still be very beneficial for me to step up my game as far as the presentation of my art, graphics, anything that's being used to represent my projects. 

✥ Oh right, HT. Uhhh... uhhh... *shuts off light* NOBODY'S HOME. 


 ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺

So there we have it. If anything else comes up, I'll edit the post. 

-J
 
 
Current Mood: drained
 
 
darlingdeathbird

...which makes it ironic that I started the year talking about how even the look of those numbers felt promising to me. The prospect of having my novel completely revised and seeking publication by now was tangible... then I was literally and figuratively knocked off my path by two rear-end car accidents. I even had a dream last night that it happened again. I still have daily stomach issues because of gastritis, an illness often caused by extreme stress, which you can bet those accidents gave me. For months I couldn't accomplish a thing because I was in bed, in toe-curling pain. I couldn't get out of my body and imagine other worlds. It's regrettable, but there is still a positive side.

Getting sick forced me to have to take care of myself in ways I had been putting off. It forced me to have to "take out the trash". When I realized work didn't have my back, I quit. I got a new job that wants me to be okay and is very low stress. It's not anything I have to fume about once I'm home, that's for sure. I've met some new people I hit it off with, and guess what else?

One of them is a writer, with connections, who used to read manuscripts for a publishing company. I can tell she knows a lot, and she wants to help me! Once I have a manuscript ready, she has offered to read it -- again, she used to be paid to do this, but she wants to do it for me for free! AAAH!!! Of course I'm nervous, because she made sure to tell me she would offer criticism and I should be ready for it, but honestly, I am more than ready. With criticism comes insight into what it is I'm trying to do. It's actually very flattering when someone spends enough time trying to figure that out. At least, that is what genuine, sincere criticism is. It should make you feel that someone is in your corner, pep-talking you. One of my favorite pieces of feedback is still the lengthy email full of suggestions and observations that [livejournal.com profile] cloudsinvenice & R put together.

On that note, I should post it - it was lovely!

Anyhoo, what did I accomplish this year?

☆彡 Five full chapters of HT's rewrite, plus 2 1/2 that are on the way.
☆彡 What is now a 6pg story going nowhere about Jenna and I's fantasy realm
☆彡 Some paintings & concept art
☆彡 A really EPIC Jared Leto Joker cosplay

☆彡 A blog for that cosplay with 500+ followers

I mean, considering how sick I was, it's nice to say I've done those things. I really loved my blog, too. It was a journey and I got to learn more about costumes and makeup, and share what I learned with others. Maybe it turned out the Suicide Squad fandom went sour, but they can't come between me and the material. I try to see it that way. ;D

New Years resolutions... man... do I even want to remember what they were for this year? I probably didn't accomplish them.

Honestly, what I want (what I always want) is to have a draft of this manuscript I can finally submit and a website that corresponds. That's the dream. And I'd like to be happy painting, be happy doing more cosplay maybe. I'd like to take my J out into the real world and do photos. First, I'll just have to make some friends? lol I don't want to have any strict goals besides this novel, though, because it's more important I finish it than anything else. Rather go far with one thing that could start my career than make little bits of progress with all kinds of inconsequential things, like AIW fanfiction, which I'm sure I'll do sometimes for fun, but I'd never push myself. Not when time and energy is so precious. (Funny enough, doing silly side writing has helped me unlock my brain when I get stuck on parts of HT. I'll write for a bit about all of us arguing with Charles Dodgson and suddenly be able to ride through a HT scene that I wasn't finding the inspiration for.)

Okay, 2017. Get yo' ass over here.



 
 
Current Mood: tired
 
 
darlingdeathbird
01 January 2014 @ 09:13 pm
This: http://ladybows-fs.livejournal.com/155628.html

How do I compare to this? How do I even scrap up anything to say was even half as wonderful or prolific as last year? I look at this now with my jaw dropped because I was fucking superwoman. A divine fire was under my ass.

I mean HO-ly SHIITTT.

There's only a couple of things I did this year, but I need to not be negative about it.

1. I put CP4 into real script format and revised it a lot, even though I didn't finish it. I spent some time thinking about how it needs to be shaped up, rearranged, charged with all the things I learned in script class.

2. I finished He's There. August 2007 - December 2013. Bada-bing, bada-boom. This wasn't just something that I topped off. After putting together the entire manuscript, I realized that this year I wrote 100 of the total 380 pages. There was a lot that needed to be done, and so much that had been churning over and over in my head and needing to be changed. Everything got so much more complicated as it went on that the last hundred pages were nearly as much work as the first 280.





Using these and future art to come, I'll build a website that works towards presenting it as a publication and a future film (hopefully.)

That's all I can say.

I could be disappointed, but He's There holds a lot of weight in my creative life. It could be my way in; it could be a financial success. People tell me it can be something. Some of the other things I wanted to do I will love to do when I get around to them, but they might not help me quit this job at a pizzeria, you know?

So what do I want to do in 2014?
```````````````````````````````````````

Revise it all and seek an agent. First priority. It can't wait any longer. I've already started rereading and making notes. I want revisions, a website, and at least a prospective agent by December 31st 2014.

Write a new AIW fanfiction - like, really. Why didn't I do it last year?

Do script frenzy and win it. Do it for Nosferatu in Love and love every minute of it.

Make progress with my Orlok costume. Commission my coat, sew my hat, and get the nails and teeth. Figure out that confusing sculpt that needs to go under the baldcap. I'm sick of having a mediocre costume that I can only use on webcam! I want to make better videos with him in preparation for playing him in my own script, and that starts with an HD-friendly costume.



It's four things, but they're huge. I wish myself good luck.


J