H'oh man, NaNoWriMo...

I've done this two times before. The first time I was so happy with the results. I posted a chapter a week (which didn't satisfy the goal of the event) but it made me feel real productive and I stuck with it until I had the 50,000 words.

The second time, I totally blew it. I blew it so hard that the very little I wrote, I didn't keep. I avoided my story for almost a year.

That makes things balanced, right? But not for Jennifer. All I can do is remember how horrible it was not getting anything done last November. I'm nervous! Even though I have a solid plot at this point, until the very end of He's There, I don't trust myself. But I'm going to sign up and say that I'm doing it anyway, because there's something about it that reminds me that I'm a writer among a world of writers, and the ones who get anything out of it put a lot in.

* * * * * * *

Chapter 42 and I haven't seen each other all week. I've wanted to work on it and smooth out some of the contradictions, but there's been a lot of homework to do, especially since I was a bad girl and put some of it off. I also had a midterm which I think I may have aced. But anyhoo, I'm going to get back to writing tonight. With any amount of luck, it will be finished tonight. Which means writing chapter 43 will be the beginning of my NaNoWriMo, which isn't a bad thing at all because the chapter has a lot going on. And (spoiler) I get to have Mariam somewhere in it. I miss her. Writing for just Lily and Erik is great, but it's not everything to me. Adding Paulina in 42 has been nice, but, if you didn't know, I connect with her as a character least.

To be clear, I'm not putting her down, though! I like Paulina. I like any character that I've ever created because they're my children. :)

Honestly speaking, I feel like my readers appreciate Mariam the least, though. I rarely even see her mentioned in reviews, but when I do, I always grin a lot. At least one person thinks that she's a good friend who's worried. There's something about her, though - I would be friends with her. I think she would be just the friend who got my shyness but wanted to help me explore the things important to me, like theatre. I'm starting to wonder if maybe all along it was Mariam who got Lily to join Drama when they entered high school, because, she being me, it fits that she would need the push or otherwise just sink into the shadows, admiring the thespians from afar.

Plus I think scientists are cute. ;) Although MAJOR edit note: WTF is Mariam doing in retard-math with Paulina? Paulina in basic algebra, sure; she's a photographer and doesn't care. Mariam in basic algebra, um... not going to get very far considering she's planning to be a chemistry major. They will have to meet each other in another class - probably an elective.

Godamn, it feels good just to be sitting here writing an entry with a cup of coffee, knowing I don't have to read something or have something prepared for class.

If I can get through the confusion of this chapter and see where I'm going with the next, maybe I'll be more optimistic about November.

Ciao.
♥ J

First, isn't this gif gorgeous? Ugh.



She really captured that. Gif (C) lifeisharder.

Well, here you go, folks. Not many scenes, but I got interested in writing Lily and Giry together, so there. Confusing part at the end. Or maybe not confusing at all, if you've been paying attention.

( Chapter 42 - Said & Unsaid )

Favorite Quotes
(Yeah, there are a lot this time. ;D)

You say you don’t fix me, but I’ve never experienced it before, wanting to exist so badly.

But your Erik wants to be here.

My head was swirling that night. Don’t you know about Erik? Love, even the illusion of love, which comforts others, makes his stomach turn, as mine does just writing.

“No. Insanity isn’t self-aware,” but he thought it important to remind me “you need no mental illness to be insane, nor are you insane with one.” “It’s not a word to throw around. It’s a terrible state for anyone, and we all have to avoid it.”

“Yeah, if the rest of my classes weren’t so easy, I’d be royally screwed, up the ass, twice,” she continued, though I’d never heard her say something like that before. “I could take my AP homework back by wheel barrel."

“That’s nothing new, is it?”
 
“It’s new if you want it to be,” she said back, quickly, her lips red, perfect, but very straight.

He was overboard, certainly, but what else explained this see-saw of discomfort and compassion? I had to be holding on to him all this time, rocking back and forth over the railing.

“Welcome to my world,” I finished, where words are tennis balls.