I was going through my AIW One-Shot Collection folder now that I've got my laptop back (and like new!), and I found this little story that was never shared. *sigh* It kind of hurts but it kind of feels good to read over things like this between Jenna and I. I just miss our world and our jokes, our humor over the little things, our silly Cartomancy sessions so she could find out what was going to happen within her Dodgson & Rabbit love triangle. I miss that there were always little things we were doing, like posting to the blogs, doing AIW research, binge-watching TV series, picking things to get wrapped up in together. I can guarantee my mental health would have deteriorated at a much faster rate if she hadn't been there, and I feel I was helpful to her too. So why now does she not need me at all? Did she meet someone else who does all these things with her? I feel broken up with. Like she just realized that I was more bad than good, or not good enough, that she wasn't pleased by the thought of any of what used to define us. Tired of it. Tired of the same person with the same story.

I tried to explain that to Eddie. In the absense of romantic relationships, your best friendship is a pretty close alternative. And should they leave you behind without a single clue why, you don't want anybody else. You just feel like you're stuck waiting. When Eddie's not around, I still feel really empty and unmotivated, and I know it's because she's gone. I've exhausted every way of reaching her. I've emailed her, I've messaged her blogs, I've texted her, I've spoken to her mom. She has to have seen something I sent her, or heard about me wanting her contact, she just refuses to give it to me. She is content making me feel abandoned.

( Magical Shower Times )