To be honest, I'm too lazy to make another picture post, for the suit jacket, right now. It's all I've been thinking about all week, and I kind of just want to give my brain a rest and a cleanse. I want to see the jacket as a part of my costume that I miraculously have, which is miraculously accurate, and not as a technical project that I didn't do perfectly. 'Cause it ain't perfect. There are... things.

But, you know, I see perfectionism as bad. 

Perfectionism, to me, is a symptom of low self esteem, trying so hard to please yourself and/or others because then maybe you will be "enough" for yourself, for them. It also keeps one from doing things, or getting them finished. I'd say this kind of stuff lies on a spectrum between perfectionism (the extremely obsessive-compulsive time-wasting kind) and the kind of attitude that leads some to spew out awful first drafts of their stories, and then have to trudge through for a pearl in a clamshell, or what have you. XD

The point is, I try to stay in the healthy mindset that something that exists is better than something that doesn't, but that you should also try your best. Try try try try. Don't sabotage yourself, and when you're done, try to see it through the eyes of a friend. The kind of friend we want, of course: someone who has no problem speaking the truth, but has compassion and wants you to succeed. They have standards, and they'll tell you if it's weak in some areas, but overall they want to celebrate that you did the thing, you know?

Often, I have to make sure that I'm not seeing the glass as 1/8th empty, is another way of putting it. It's 7/8ths full -- *points* -- FOCUS ON THAT!

In other great news, John Hoffman is back on FB. You know how I know? He sent me a friend request. LOL Apparently, he had been hacked back in August, and with all the wondrous things happening in his life, he hadn't the time to get this sorted right away. By the time that friend request arrived, I figured that either he didn't want to use the site anymore, or he had gotten himself a new account that couldn't be found by random AIW fangirls. Those days of just adding us willy-nilly were over, with his rising popularity. Well, I was wrong! Well, halfway wrong. He can't be found in searches, but *clutches heart* he does value the little people, and he did want to add me again. How sweet! 

This means that 1.) There is a much better change of reaching him if I ever want/need to again. 2.) He can see my posts, so I don't have to shove it in his face that I'm doing a cosplay of his character. If he sees it himself, hoorah! I can surprise him!
Also on my mind, and it's my journal so I'm just going to be candid. Rachel and I did a video chat as Hatter and Hare the night before last, and our other friends were excited about it and complimenting us on our costumes. I want to do more of those kind of things, because there's so much potential, and I get to practice improvising my mannerisms and faces. Also, I have always envied those who cosplay in pairs or trios and can interact with each other. Most of my cosplays have been of characters who have someone else they are significantly tied to (for the Joker, it's Harley Quinn; for Kurama, it's Hiei; for Jareth, it's Sarah)... but I've never had someone to be the other character. 

The only thing is, Rachel's not that good at pretending to be Hare. She put in her time with the costume, but she can't do his voice, and has no background in acting. Throw shyness into the mix, and we've got... not much. It ain't her fault, and actually it's kind of sweet because even though she's not being a convincing Hare, she seems really amused by interacting with "Hatter". 

So it's fun, but for different, smaller reasons, so I'm just kind of... hoping maybe she can come out of her shell or work on her performance, and just give herself the permission to go nuts with it. John described his pairing with Reece as "lighting in a bottle", and you can see it: they bounce off each other and then off the walls. No matter how unhinged the swing, the other still catches it. hahah Lord, do I wish I could have that. 

One funny and hopeful thing I could mention, however, is this: Reece was all up in his shell at the beginning of the show, too. He's talked about it multiple times, how he had just left behind all the heaviness and seriousness of The Phantom of the Opera, then walked into this huge, zany set where John was jumping on the table and flinging teacups. John was made for this kind of thing. He's a huge ham! Reece didn't seem to know how to be on a kids show, and is *so* awkward in the early episodes. He was afraid to break the props. The character had way fewer handles to grab onto than the more iconic roles like the Mad Hatter or the White Rabbit, who instantly conjure images and directions one could take to portray them. The March Hare in general has consistently not been well developed in the whole century that Alice's Adventures in Wonderland has had adaptations. But then, at some point, he figured it out, and he was to die for. Cute, giggly, unapologetically quirky and cheeky, while showing moments of surprising emotional depth and compassion. 

Who does he thank for this? John. 

He said specifically that it was John who helped him through a lot of his hurdles, yanked him out of his shell, and made him discover that type of expression. John, meanwhile (who was there beside him during the interview), was probably just sitting there smiling and getting bashful. He also admitted to Reece that he was often trying to provoke him, to make him upset, because he thought his uptightness was sweet. 

I mean, if you didn't ship Hatter and Hare yet. 🤩🤩🤩

I know the actors =/= the characters. My, do I. But they have undeniable chemistry that leaks into the characters. 

Anyway, I don't think I have that same sort of chemistry with Rachel, at all. But if I want to take John's lead, I should at least try as her Hatter to help her find her Hare. lol It's a stone worth turning before I start to think there's not much hope in roleplaying with her. 

~ ~ ~

Anyway, that's it, I suppose? Shit, NaNoWriMo is approaching, and once again I'm not prepared or anywhere near in the mindset to jump back into writing Crystal Palace. I still need to make pants for my cosplay, but I'm not as worried about it, so I think I need to take these last couple weeks of October to plan for next month. 

-J