So today I made my first jab at the 2013 list: I made a CP series tumblr. However, it's not anywhere near presentable - in fact, once I'd fiddled with the layout and tried to make an introductory post, I felt lost about where to start explaining from there. I get the impression from others that they can't tell what the fuck Crystal Palace is supposed to be, and that along with everyone's dispassion for reading has caused me not to have hardly any readership. This made it difficult for me to think of how to "sell it", to be concisely informative, plus entertaining.

*throws up hands* I might just get up about pages for the movies and characters, provide links, and just dig in with random trivia, quotes, and images to familiarize anyone who stops by. And I think, though I don't know how much, that a watcher of mine is a little popular on tumblr, and she likes CP. I'm hoping she'll plug me to some effect.

Anyway, other than that... I've really gotta put it down, I think. It's not even planned from here, so that's an automatic stopper. I think I'll just use January to plan the rest of it and make a drawing here or there, but... I can't... do it anymore... unless something useful can come up in the Screenwriting class I finally made it into.

I've been trying to get in the HT mood, but I realized, for certain, how disconnected Eugene makes me feel. Just... all the stimuli that brought me closer is missing. I told you already - when I went to the dock the other day... I was there; I was under the purple sky; "Erik" could've been right behind me. When I went the other day when I was taking my car for the spin the last time that I would have it for now, the sun was setting over the river, and I remembered hanging around that dock parking lot, practicing my speeches for speech class where I could get some privacy. I felt really at peace; I felt in that zone that you have to be in to be happy and free. I just hate Eugene now, and that is enough to destroy my mood. I want to go to school at home. I want to live back there and just enter a portal to get to class or something. Two more terms. So sick of Eugene.

I'm going to have to find somewhere to go. I don't know.

Here's a list for myself in January:
1.) Re-structure chapters 43 - 47 of HT and begin writing them.
2.) Perfect the CP tumblr.
3.) Draw Kate a profile picture.
4.) Do a CP4 illustration.

Of course, number 1 will be the hardest and most time-consuming. Good luck to me, seriously.

Someone inspire me, connect with me, care, be there. Not only do I feel disconnected from the world, but from the people who used to look forward to me sharing with them.

It's January 23 and I feel like making a general update, just to get out where I am and what I expect myself to be doing in the next month.

And might I say - January was a total FLOP! I've been the Queen of Lazy and I don't even know why. I was much more interested in reading books, watching Hey Arnold, and eating cookies and ice cream during my free time rather than actually write or draw something of significance. I'm proud of myself for reading a book (a long one at that), though. It's something I'd like to do more often and luckily I now have a stack of books thanks to Christmas. (I'll even be reviewing A Rose in Winter in due time. ;D)

Anyway, ah yes. My stories.

HE'S THERE
You all know I'm fucking stuck on this bastard. XD I've come to the conclusion that I need a longer time away from this than I thought. It's been over a year now that I've both sped and trudged through the chapters, and I even took a 2 month break, but I feel so incompetent at this point that I think, once again, I need to work on my individual chapter plans. I mean, understand them TO A T. O_O

I also got an interesting suggestion from a friend to try scripting the chapters before I write them, to make sure their flow is sensible. I've never done it before, and I don't know if it'll help me, but I'm going to test it out. I'm desperate and disappointed that I'm stuck where I am, especially since this is supposed to be a deeper more interesting part of the story. I don't know how I could find myself in such a quagmire! Is the heaviness of everything making me second-guess myself? Is adding some type of complexity and suspense to this making my brain think it can't handle it and instead just shut down? 

I think it's that as well as some strange lack of enthusiasm. Perhaps I've just been dealing with the idea for too long and need to exhaust my brain with something else. I've long known my brain works that way, I was just being stubborn! If I intend to finish it this year, I've gotta be working on it frequently for at least six months. There's wiggle room, I know. I simply have to be conscious of how long I let myself rest.

CRYSTAL PALACE 3
Naturally, since it's done, we've nothing to write, and I haven't heard from Kate since the day we finished it together, Jan. 1st. HOWEVER. I'm finding myself in the mood to do the illustrations. It's rather neat that I would feel that way, since I haven't wanted to draw for it in a while. And while it's true that I've utterly BEATEN a dead horse on Deviant Art trying to get people to visit our community through sketches of the characters, I still would like to put some work into its presentation. Not for publicity's sake, just for myself and Kate. I have to keep reminding myself that CP2 was in the exact same position where there wasn't anyone who would ever really care I made the website, but I had a fire of inspiration lit under my butt for months with that whole thing and don't regret it at all. 

I don't think I will worry about revising the script in the slightest until I get website plans started or into action. Because we have no audience, there's no sense of urgency, which is a little bittersweet, but whatever.

TRYING TUESDAY
Although I started it like early December and then ignored it, I actually wrote more a few days ago. I'm having the hardest time thinking of a good, strong beginning so I can finally post a first part here. The place where I started writing and really getting into it is what I'd consider part two, so it's killing me that I can't show a damn thing! All I can say is that Mel's new episode Take the Bunny and Run was some good inspiration since Rabbit was experiencing something to make him grateful for his less-than-perfect life. OMG and I can't wait to draw the poster for this when it's time to share. It's (naturally) going to imitate the cover of the Freaky Friday DVD, with Rabbit (in Hare's body) looking all condescending and Hare (in Rabbit's body) looking douchey with a feather duster or something.

Actually, it's quite interesting. So far I've done a lot of third-person narrative as Rabbit and I guess I never realized I perceived him as seeing everything with such a stuck-up eye. I know the bunny-tension between him and Hare is there in canon, but he's been especially prickly so far. ;) Well, he has been driving him crazy and he just found out they've switched bodies. He has a right to prickliness. They'll learn the soft spots of each other as things progress.

TILLY & JO
Why do I mention this if I haven't been writing it? Well, I don't know! It's just been on my mind. Probably because it will be my project after He's There, and my brain is escaping from He's There and not being able to write for it, therefore it apparently sorta thinks that T&J is right around the corner when it sure as hell isn't.

But shit - I'm entertaining myself with the fact that I could tell this story in three points of view. It comes from my once hearing someone write that the narrating character should be the one whose perspective is most important and interesting. Of course! But with this type of story, it was rather important that the most interesting perspectives be out of reach and instead learned about. At least, I thought. That idea will still be respected because Gina will narrate the first third, but then it'll switch to Tilly's, and we can learn through her about what's going on in her head and what she's learning from Gina and teaching her, and at the same time have a much clearer understanding of Jo. But then the last part comes along and Jo is the official narrator. He picks up things when the climax is hitting and ends the story.

Why do I want to do this? It seems to have promise in it. I also think Jo is a lot smarter and insightful than he was originally going to be given credit for. I think he's the most like a writer out of the three of them and would have surprising remarks to make about the situation. He's also (technically) the first person to give up his grounded life to stay with Tilly, which is kind of what she asks of Gina. It won't happen, but that's why contrast is cool. :) Enough spoiling. I'll get to it, I really will...

NEW STORY ♥
Am I shitting you? Is this for rizzle? It actually is. I, Jennifer, have conceived a brand spankin' new idea for a YA story. Unfortunately, I can't yet go into a thing about it. It has a few characters, a song or two, and some themes, but at the moment not everyone has even their full name, so it's too early to spill my thoughts onto here. I'll tell you a few things not to expect, though.

☆ Phantoms.
☆ A whole lot of romance.
☆ A dark theme.
☆ A lot of girl characters.

lol. Yeah, just thought I'd throw that out there. I don't tackle the same kind of story twice. At least, not yet. (but I'm young) I plan to write an entry about it when the time seems right, so just wait. :)
................................................................................................................

Okay, now it's time to write down some goals for February to keep my lazy ass on track.

I'm obviously taking a breather (again) from novel writing, I've got application stuff for UO to go over, so fitting to me for the time being is to:

1. Do CP3 illustrations.
-- Akira against the back table at the bar mitzvah next to the bird cage, grimacing over Cosmo's ascent to the microphone to reveal their affair.
-- Akira's fists upon the hapless 'mummy' at the hospital as Cosmo slides the curtain away from his side of the room, eyebrow raised.
-- Kate, Cosmo, Akira and I out at the "Dorsia" restaurant.

2. Finish Trying Tuesday
3. Draw TT a poster!
4. Draw the Tweedles profile and work on the AIW site pages w/ Mel.

Okay, good enough. Ciao. Adios. Jyaamatane. :D