Because writing incredibly short one-shots for no reason at all has been a newly discovered joy for me recently.

Jennifer, Hare, and the Baby Oil

One chilly day in Wonderland, Jennifer was over at Hare's. They had been watching TV that afternoon, drinking tea, and giggling about absolutely nothing when Jennifer proposed that they hop in the tub and have a bubble bath. Hare was all for it. They had done it once before, weeks ago, and he never wanted to bring up how much fun it was in case Jennifer didn't feel the same. They ran for the bathroom, tossing their clothes off. There was a trail of suit jackets, panties, and suspenders all the way down the hall.

While the water was running, Jennifer marvelled at the size of the tub. It was one of the biggest she had ever seen, and at the back of her mind she wondered how Hare was able to afford it. Exotic dancing, again? She thought of asking, but she noticed baby oil in the cabinet while she was looking for the bubble bath. "Wait," she said. Hare twitched his nose.

"What?"
"Turn off that water. I have a great idea." Hare obeyed and turned back around.
"What is it?"
"Let's turn the bathtub into a slip'n'slide!" Hare's mouth dropped in pure ecstasy.
"OKAY!"

The end.

So I've always done something like method acting in my head, to make my characters react the way I think suits them. I'll go from moment to moment hopping into their bodies, taking on their different points of view, motivations, objectives, and sometimes that has even led me to physically spending time as characters that will have a lot of expression in a certain scene or chapter. I used to become "Erik" by dressing up and going to walk the dock at night with a scarf over half of my face. I would have all of his negative thoughts and come back inspired to live as him through that chapter, confident I could do it right.

But I always got exhausted by it; I knew that being him was not a pleasant experience. He has always been the darkest piece of me that I took out of my head and grew into a man, I'll say. He's the one who adopted all the feelings inside me that I hate, and has to experience them constantly. Whose entire life has been ruined by these feelings paired with isolation, lack of support, with being different. So I was always happy to step out of him, finish a chapter, and get to be myself again. I knew that he and I were still very different, even if he came from me.

But nowadays, I think I become more and more like him all the time. Angry, frustrated, disappointed, and convinced that I can't get through life without distracting myself with things that aren't real.

It's a scary thing to admit.