COSMO
Mr. Quellini! What are the soups of the day?

MANAGER
The soup of the day is Don't Wear a Long-Sleeved Shirt to Work. What're you, nuts?

CRYSTALLINA
Consuela, you handle my husband. I don't want the other servant in the house alone.

AKIRA
She’s a Nazi.
(it's the context and tone I imagined that makes it funny)

AKIRA
Yeah, my daughter wants to have sex with me.

Everyone in the room blinks, and some look to the doctor as if she might know how to explain their confusion.

AKIRA
In the past few months she's drawn pornographic images of us together in school, pelted me with “honey”’s “dear”’s and “love-muffin”’s in public, she’s threatened to hang herself unless I complied, and invited me into her room when she was naked. Oh, and she’s seven.

No one’s expression has really changed yet.

AKIRA
My wife’s a Nazi. And by “Nazi”, I don’t mean Nazi-Nazi, I mean Woman Who Won’t Stop Controlling the Minutia of My Life Even if Her Opinion is No Longer Welcome Nazi.

Dr. Reed purses her lips at his semantics.

AKIRA
I also work in customer service.

A resounding “ohh…” comes from the group, as if this is the first reason for his alcoholism that they can truly understand.

RONNIE
You know, one of the most important things in life is just to have a comfortable living, with a comfortable mattress. (suddenly yelling) I'LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT ISN'T TRUE.

Ronnie looks extremely troubled that he's being brushed off, but when he sees Akira -- giving him a look rather like he's observing two copulating dung beetles at a zoo kiosk -- his face brightens, and he nods, sure Akira caught the reference somehow.

CRYSTALLINA
It was horrible, Mommy! As soon as you left, he just marched right into the house with his pants down! And, to say enough for you to know and as little to keep myself composed, the beast had risen from its slumber!