AKIRA
You have a lot of nerve bringing that up after all of the serious work I've been doing!

JENNIFER
Akira, you have not been touring with Britney Spears! I've been practically babysitting you the past few weeks while you go off to... Puff the Magic Fucking Dragon Land!

AKIRA
-I didn't poop anywhere.

AKIRA
Why'ds't matter that I peed in front of orphans?! I mean d-doesn't the fact that, the fact that they don't have parents mean that- that they have to pee outside, too?!

"Instead of going to some posh, pricey restaurant, we could return to my home where I would gladly EAT OUT YOUR TINKLE-TACO."

JENNIFER
Bailing people out of jail isn't cheap, Crystallina. Mommy and Daddy don't have the finances, especially with Daddy incapacitated, for you to keep having your uncle arrested.

AKIRA
I don't understand you, Jennifer. My freedom and happiness... Birds!

He makes a scale gesture.

AKIRA
And you chose fucking birds!

AKIRA
Well I could've told you that without having your incompetent Shelleyyyyy playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey with my fucking arteries! If I wanted a needle poked into me that many times I'd get a tattoo of your stupid face!

CRYSTALLINA
And if you think it meant anything (...) that you brought him bowling and buttholes, well – you're sadly mistaken.

AKIRA
HEY! If you're going to disown your own husband and turn his entire life upside down, you could at least fold that!